Would Like to Share a Story With You.

Just So Peace full

Just So Peace full

Peaceful place

Peaceful place

I would like to share a story with you. A few weeks ago I had I had an change to attend an event at Liberty Manor out in Texas for a pre-opening of this amazing glam-camp, camp ground that that is for the BDSM community. My friend Ms Manell a friend of mine was launching this amazing place where like minded people can go and be with other like minded people and have the freedom to be who we are and that is kinky.

Being a city girl and being out in the country was something that I had not done in all most 35 years. My glam tent was amazing and the place was about 30 miles outside of Houston on 1500 acres.

My Camp Site

My Camp Site

My Wonderful Bed

My Wonderful Bed

After a cool drink we got up on back of truck and sat on hay stacks and the hay ride began. As we drove around I felt something strange and pulled around a corner our host said over to the left is a small cemetery. My heart sank as I felt someone present that has passed. We got off of the truck and all of us walked over to the grave site. There was only two head stones there and one was child that was died as an infant and one that died at the age of 9. I could hear a voice in my head that just would not stop. It was this amazing energy that was bouncing all over the place. She kept trying to talk to me and I was taken back but I could not make out what she was saying.

The owner Ms Manell slave gus told me a story that the tombstone of the little girl was broken and they would

put it back together by standing it up and the next time they would go back to where it was and it was in pieces again. One day they put it together again and they started to walk away and they heard the ground tremble and loud noise. They went back to the grave site and the once again the piece were on the ground.

The Cemetery

The Cemetery

Gus asked me what feelings did get about the little girl and was she ok with us coming over the grave site. What I felt was that she was lonely and this was joyful for her as she just a lonely soul that was happy to have people around.  On her stone she died in 1900 and she has been alone all this time. She wanted to be known and wanted their attention and so she made know to them she was there.

We left the grave site but she followed me as I could not shake her present. In the course of the evening I meet new friends and we sat round the fire place as they keep talking about snakes and other types of things that come out and they were screwing around with me. I was more worried about the little girl that was sitting next to me on the ground at my feet then the snakes.

I went to sleep and slept under the covers but I could feel her. The next day we did what you do at such an event and eat and gather at the bonfire at mid night we got back on the truck on the hay stack’s and went back to the grave site. You see at mid-night it was her birthday so we took a glass candle and a teddy bear and places it on next to the tombstone. We could hear a train in the background and I asked the owner when the train was built. He said 1900 and it confirmed what she was telling me. The train sound was so comforting to her as she would listen to the sound of the train when she was alive.

We are all standing there and shut my eyes and started speaking in tongue and I started rocking. All of sudden I was pushed back with such a force that I was almost knocked over. There were two people standing next to me and caught me and at that moment I heard her voice in my head.

She cried out I’m sorry tell my mommy I’m sorry it was said over and over again in my mind. She keep saying I died because my mommy said don’t go out to the barn. I disobeyed my mommy. She keep saying this even as we walked away from the grave site. I had to two people walk me back to the truck and they place me inside the cab as I was shaking.

One of my new friends came back to my camp site with me and we talked for hours and he felt the same that I felt and we cried tears for this little girl that sat my feet. When I went to bed I told my new friend that the little girl was welcome to come and sleep in my bed. I felt her next to me and it was a feeling of joy and love. It was something that she was missing and what she need.

What was amazing was that I fell right to sleep and slept for hours. I woke up feeling so refreshed and loved. I could feel a feeling of peace from the little girl that would not leave my side. It felt like that some of my walls were broken down and I felt much softer and that it brought out the gentle part of my soul. She changed me!

That afternoon we did a self-hypnosis class and that’s when the little girl took over and talked to me more about how she died. She said it was at night and she went to the barn and climbed the latter to get something. Her mother told her not to go to in the barn during the day. She snaked out of bed knowing she was disobeying her mother. She talked so fast and was all over the place. I kept getting two different stories from her one was I feel off the second floor of the barn and the other was I died of infection. She kept telling me both things and I’m sorry mommy.

The next day I lead a meditation about past lives and it was an amazing time shared with such amazing people and as we came out of the meditation we shared what we saw. I was leading this so I did not go on the journey in the past lives, but what happens when I lead a meditation I have no control over what is said as my spirit guides take over me. The little girl was right next to me.

I was able to talk to her in a calm way and yes she died of both as she fell off the second floor she landed on a pitch fork and it did not kill her but the infection afterwards did. Her mother could not cope with losing her so she took her own life. The sadness and pain over took as I started to cry tears. I went back to my glam-tent after the meditation and was quiet as I my eyes cried over the pain of this child dealing with 125 years of guilt.  I could feel her pain and also the release of being able to share this someone. I felt she was a peace and she told me the owner of land was her protector and she told me to thank him.

The morning I was leaving she come to me and I close my eyes and told she was safe now and she was free from guilt. Her mother came to me and there was healing of two souls. I left knowing that she was now happy and could find peace.

The owner was at my meditation and on the way to the airport he told me as he cried that felt that he was her protector way before I placed my foot the grave site. Not only did this little girl touch my heart but she touched everyone’s heart that was there that weekend. She is now loved by so many and she happy.

Rev Mel

Ms Manell and gus will be interviewed on June 16 on the Rev Mel Show at 8 PM PST on TSRnetwork.com

 

 

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The Trap of the “Cliché” Sub

miss caddy compson The Trap of the “Cliché” Sub

I recently listened to a rant directed toward new female submissives.  All the clichés and pitfalls and traps and nonsense.  All the crap (and sometimes sheer stupidity) that comes with being a new sub.  Of course there are some who skirt all the madness (hoorah!) but it’s more common than uncommon.  The whole rant basically boiled down to new subs not knowing that their submission is a gift.  I don’t buy into the whole notion of submission (or domination) being a gift*, but his rant seriously struck a chord in me.

  • Believing a man is a Dom simply because he gives himself the title
  • Subs who fall in love with a Dom who doesn’t love them back
  • Doms who only see their subs during sexy time
  • Subs who are so eager to please that they don’t examine if this Dom is a good man
  • Doms who restrict a new sub’s communication with other knowledgeable people in the scene
  • Subs pushing too many limits that aren’t ready to be pushed just to be pleasing
  • Thinking that a Dom is a “Master” of a particular craft simply because he owns the toys
  • Being a popular new toy to too many people
  • Getting into a committed relationship (or slapping on a collar, ahem) before proper negotiations
  • Negotiations?  Huh?

The list goes on and on.  It made me think about my own transition into the kink community.  That rant about naïve subs was directly aimed at the new submissive that I once was.  My entire sex life had been immersed in D/s and polyamorous relationships, but all behind closed doors, all in private.  It wasn’t until my mid 20s that I actually came into the community.  I found myself poking around online, seeking and researching and a so-called Dom quickly found me.  Before I knew it, I was in a committed relationship with a man I barely knew, who was screening all my interactions with anyone else in the community.  He wanted orgasm control, which anyone who has gone through this process will tell you is a major deal, often with long lasting repercussions.  No one was allowed to talk to me. He had the passwords to all of my profiles and email.  I was completely isolated with (still) no basis of comparison as to how D/s worked outside the bedroom.  Although he demanded a lot of control in most aspects of my life, he didn’t see me much outside the bedroom.  But, oh, how I longed to please.  He would beat me black and blue knowing that I had diving and swim practice every morning.  Those kinds of marks are very conspicuous in bathing suits and locker rooms.  But I wanted to prove myself as a true sub.  I didn’t even stop to think that I had to make him prove himself a true Dom, too.  I didn’t know I was supposed to.  Within no time at all, he wanted to bring other girls into the dynamic.  I wasn’t on solid footing with him yet, but he wasn’t interested in that.  He wanted more girls.  After a single conversation about it where I voiced my hesitation, he ended it abruptly.  It was a devastating blow at the time.  I had given so much of myself to this person who didn’t give me respect in return.

A lot of people (men and women alike) find themselves in similar states.  I’ve heard that losing your first Dom is one of the hardest losses in the BDSM realm.  It completely turns some people off entirely to this deliciously exciting world.  After one bad experience, they believe this just isn’t for them (and maybe it’s not), but they have fallen into the new sub trap.  Unfortunately, all the great writing geared toward new subs and all the knowledgeable people in the community come along with experience.  (Sometimes too little too late.)

And, indeed, all of those things did come to me with more exposure and experience.  I found the classes and the people who had my best interests at heart.  In retrospect, it was a great thing for me.  Obviously he wasn’t the person for me and I learned a lot.  Fortunately for me, I learned that all of this is worth it for me and is what I am at the core.  The experience gave me an arsenal of what is unacceptable and it helped me develop my voice so that I could better express my expectations and boundaries.  I learned what it means to take care of myself and what it means to take care of my partner.  And now I have a lot of wisdom to pass on to new people who come eager for advice.  It’s empowering once everything kinda “clicks” into place.

Ironically, that particular “Dom” touted the whole “hurt but not harm” motto, even as he continued to prey on new and unsuspecting girls.  He hasn’t ever had a long-term relationship since I’ve known him.

Toxic people permeate…everywhere.  All of life is filled with people who don’t care about us, but that becomes even more pronounced in the dark recesses of an adult playground.  Unfortunately for many, they do not come prepared to play and fall into the common pitfalls and traps.  Looking back on our experiences, I’m sure many of us grimace at some of the choices we made early in our journey (hopefully grimacing less with better choices and as time moves on).  Some of us halted and exited the journey as a result, but for those of us still here, we gained priceless perspective, experience and knowledge, some of which can hopefully be used to the betterment of someone else’s expedition.  Unfortunately, though, no matter how many people we try to save, there will always be those who end up the new sub “cliché.”

 

As far as submission being a gift, I don’t believe that submission (or dominance) is a gift.  It’s a mutual, ongoing, ever-changing dynamic, dependant on each other.  “Gifting” submission and dominance is simplistic and does not take into account things like consent or negotiation.  Gift giving is sometimes one-sided and cannot be taken back.  Of course, we all know that’s not true.  For me, this isn’t a gift that I’m bestowing upon you.  This is essential to my being.  Gifts are superfluous.  My need to submit is not.  Your need to dominate is not.  This is who we are.  And this is what we do together to nourish our souls.  (There are a million different views about the “gift” of submission, but this is what resonates with me.)

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