INSIGHT w/ BDSM class by BAADMASTER (and public social) ~ Friday 6/12

Founder of

Founder of



Rev Mel will be giving away lots of interesting kinky things at her class this Friday at the Lair de Sade.

INSIGHT is the place for people from all walks of the lifestyle new and old to come, chat, make connections of any sort and have a great time. It’s the time and place for those who are new or curious about The Lair to come check out the place and maybe get a tour from our seasoned members.

Insight Schedule

8:00pm – Doors open to the public for tours, socializing and vending
8:30pm – Introduction to BDSM and the Lifestyle with Rev Mel
9:30pm – Featured Insight Presentation by BAADMASTER
11:30pm – Last call for Spanking & Socializing

“BDSM: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.”

BaadMaster, in cooperation with Lair deSade, takes pride in presenting an audience- interactive panel discussion, “BDSM: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.”
With a panel of BDSM luminaries, hosted by BaadMaster, this will be an entertaining and enlightening look at where BDSM was, where it is now and where it is likely going.
The Panel:
Ken Marcus. An award winning glamour and fetish photographer with a lifetime of experience in BDSM, Ken’s work is published throughout the world and is easily recognized by his attention to detail and for his portrayal of bondage and fetish themes.
Eko Foxx is a 24 year old professional BDSM entertainer, award winning pet show contestant, fetish model, lifestyle masochist, and active participant in the Los Angeles kink scene.
Master Eragon. One of the true technical experts in the use of floggers, whips and restraints, he has been one of L.A.’s top BDSM performers for the past decade.
Rev Mel Female Dom with 20 years in the lifestyle, founder of and host of The Rev Mel Show for over 12 years. BDSM consultant, educator and freedom rider and have been teaching S/m open forum class at the Lair de Sade for 12 year..
And your emcee, BaadMaster, one of the original members of Conquest/Lair. In addition to giving Insight presentations at Lair deSade, he has also hosted the “BaadMasters Dungeon” Internet show and has written extensively about all things BDSM.

PLEASE NOTE: INSIGHT is primarily a social & educational event. While spanking/bdsm activity is permitted on the premises; there is NO sex, and NO nudity of any kind allowed during INSIGHT.
If you are not sure about going or on the fence because you are nervous send a private message with questions and concerns so we can make make it easier for you to join us 😉
INSIGHT IS OPEN TO ALL. No membership required to attend this event but you can purchase one anytime during the event if you’d like so you can return for our private parties where anything goes!


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So it Begins The Hollywood Reporter “Student Charged With Sexual Assault Says He Was Re-enacting ‘Fifty Shades of Grey”

 Courtesy of Cook County Sheriff

Courtesy of Cook County Sheriff

The University of Illinois at Chicago student allegedly beat his victim with a belt while sexually assaulting her.

We will see more and more of this sort of press and actions. The book and movie is out there and now we must work on education and keeping our life choice safe. Leaders in your community must work together in educating people that coming into the life style. Sorry to say we will see more this in the up coming year from this book and the movie.

hollywood reporter

Excerpt from the Story:

A 19-year-old University of Illinois at Chicago freshman was arrested on Saturday, charged with one count of aggravated criminal sexual assault. He allegedly told police that he and the 19-year-old woman he was with were re-enacting Fifty Shades of Grey scenes.

Hossain allegedly proceeded to cover her eyes with a knit cap, remove the rest of her clothing and hit her with both a belt and his fists. When the woman told him to stop, started crying and began to wiggle her arms free, Karr said Hossain held her arms back and sexually assaulted her. Prosecutors said when Hossain’s roommate came home following the incident, Hossain held the door shut. Eventually, the woman left and called the police.

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Where are all the Fifty Shades of Grey Events? They have been here all the time.

thereal50-copyWhere are all the Fifty Shades of Grey Events? We have all been here well before the book or the movie. Countless people from all over the world have been living this life choice of Fifty Shades of Grey for thousands of years.

This is not going to change who we are or affect us in the long run. Fads fade out but the Real 50 Shades of people will never be just a fad.

I get so many people in my class S/m 101 Open Forum at The Lair de Sade that have read the book and are curious some will deiced that this is not for them and many will be our leaders of tomorrow. I support all the new people that keep our life choice going onto the future.

We are not a book a movie or adverting campaign we are real people that live breath this train of thought of BDSM and S/m and so much more.

Just like the Story of O, Exit to Eden, 9 1/2 Weeks and The Secretary it has not changed our life style and it might add a moment of excitement to our conversion but its not going to make us better or worst.

In a few months it will be Netflix, Amazon and Google Play and it will move into the past. it will be talked about about 20 years from now when someone do a fad timeline ..

So you want a Fifty Shades of Grey Event just go one of your local dungeons or munches and start really seeing what we are all about. Fifty Shades of Grey is just a book and a movie and nothing more. It does not represent who we are as a community or a life choice. We are who we are and nothing is going to change this.

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Kinky Spirituality

KINKY_REALKinky spirituality in my own opinion is a huge part of how we play and how we think. When a submissive goes into sup-space where do they go? Or a Dom in their Dom-space? To me spirituality is about energy exchange between the universe and myself. I’m not sure what is out there and not sure why strange things happen to me all the time. When I go to a play party it’s very soothing to my state of mind, body and soul.

The structure of BDSM has things that spiritual people live every day like honor, integrity, trust and kindness. When spirituality is added to this it changes the way we play and live.

You never know where the light will touch you and what I mean by the light is enlightenment. I have been in a dungeon with the music blaring and hot heated scenes going on around me and I felt the presents of spiritual beings. I have channeled a few of those being and could feel a vibration thought out my whole body as they talked to me.

Woo Woo or being in the moment can change your life and take you on a different road. You never know when spirituality will hit you and start showing up in your play and life.

My spirituality is like a long lost lover returning back to my bed as the we share an amazing sensual moment in time with each other. Many don’t believe in some of the dogma of spirituality and shy away from it but for people like me it is the place that grounds me to this life force.

What is wonderful is we all get to chose our life and our beliefs and still be involved in BDSM. We all don’t walk the same path and we all make different choices on how and what we believe. From the beginning of my life in BDSM spirituality has been a huge part of who I am. Without would be like losing a close loving friend.

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TSRnetwork 12 Years Anniversary Play Party Celebration.

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Sunday, March 08, 2015 · 6:00 PM – 12:00 AM
Lair De Sade
6628 Lankershim Boulevard @ map
Dress code: Fetish wear or all black

TSRnetwork 12 Years Anniversary Play Party Celebration.

Come and join us for a fun filled evening. This is a fundraiser for TSRnetwork to keep BDSM TV Live Free to all viewers. Join us for your Anniversary Celebration. If you have been a guest, host or have watched the live and recorded shows please come and show your support for Live Free BDSM TV.

**Doors Open at 6:00 PM PST
Party closes at midnight.**

**Your donation at the Door $15.00**
Buy Early Bird Special Here:

Can’t make the party but wish to show your support click on this link
**All of the proceeds will go to funding and Keeping Live BDSM TV Going for years to come.**

This is a potluck so bring something to share. is the Web’s first live Network that broadcast free live show about BDSM and the lifestyles. Based in Hollywood, CA, the interactive talk shows combines top movers and shakers in the BDSM community, live interactive chats and a live in-studio audience for a truly one of a kind viewing experience.
We are changing the world one Vanilla at a time.

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Happy New Year’s from

happy new year 2015I wish to say thank you to Miss Cassie and Genesis for being amazing hosts on their shows on

Thank you to all the chat viewers that come in the chat and join the conversation on the live shows. You make our job easier as Host as we get to ask the questions of our guests that you wish to hear.

To all the Guests of each show Thank You for taking the time to come to the studio or to web cam with us each week. You all have been amazing guest though-out 2014.

All the people that could not tune into the Live shows because of your busy life’s but went into the archives and watch the recorded shows. Thank you for taking the time to go onto and watch the shows that you missed.Because of you, you has increased our viewing numbers over 800,000 views when added together all the different places that we broadcast on.

Viewing the analytic s of the shows from February 2014 to now we have had over 300 thousand people tune into and watch the live and recorded shows on Youtube and On Google the numbers are 580,233 views from the two profiles that we broadcast the shows on.

My hats goes out to Miss Cassie for her show Naughty or Nice with Miss Cassie Special Guest: Sybian Master that has had over 21,000 views. The show streamed live on Aug 19, 2014 and has had so many views in such a short time.

2015 we hope to move past over a million or more people viewing the live shows or the recorded shows. We hope to add more shows to the network and touch more people both BDSM member’s and the vanilla world. Here is a letter from a viewer.

Dear Rev Mel,

I was told by a friend about your show and have always wanted to be spanked. My husband could not understand why I need this and would make fun of me. After finding your show and TSRnetwork I got my husband to watch the shows on Youtube. It has changed my life and his. He is a natural Dom and I’m now collared by my husband.

We could never come out to our friends and family about what we do but it is wonderful having a place where we can go and learn about BDSM and not feel like such a freak. I, now feel normal and found a safe place where I can share with husband all of my desires.

Thank you,

Kathy ——-

I get these letters all the time and this is what make doing all of this so amazing as we at TSRnetwork reach out into the vanilla world and change them one day at a time.

We have lost so many friends of TSRnetwork and when we launched the show back in February we dearly missed our friend Robert who passed away while the shows are down the year before. Robert you are missed and each show I think of you and wish you were here to share this with us.

This year we lost River Butch not only a fan of TSRnetwork but a friend as she supported us during hard times and laugh with us at some of those special mommets on the life show. I will miss her loving emails and phone calls, you were always a hero to me. River Butch and Robert you both are in our hearts and thoughts and will never be forgotten we love you.

In 2015 we will continue to broadcast free live BDSM TV and make this a place where education and safety comes first and change the world on how they view our BDSM Live Choice and community.

Like I say “There is not a street in United States that someone is not being tied to a bed, blindfolded and spank we are not that much different then our vanilla friends and family.

To our community I salute you and have a wonderful New Year’s and may 2015 be an amazing year for all.

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The Art Of Sensual Primal Play with Rev Mel at the Stockroom in Los Angeles

The Rev Mel Show Live on

Saturday, December 06, 2014 · 3:00 PM – 6:00 PM
Stockroom Hall
2809 1/2 W. Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90026 @ map
Cost: $10
Dress code: Come as you are
Book your tickets Now

Primal Play is about touching the erotic and sensual part of who we are. It is flesh on flesh it’s the wild within all of us. The uncivilized part of who we are where nothing exist but the fire of erotic energy. Primal is our foundation of our basic instincts and our animal nature as we embrace our animal nature. Touching, smelling and being creative with our hands, mouth and body it is core of our sexually.

A headspace and mindset and attitude of leaving the body and becoming a nonhuman shift into an animalistic being. It is love making and play at the primal level of our true self.

Primal Play is the release from being a modern human and to be in privative state of mind where we let loose the taboos that are pushed open us. It’s without restraints as a human without shame and to embrace our desirers and back to the basic instincts of our soul. It is expressing passion and sensual energy without restraints in our mind and body and most of all without fear.

This is place where our body and mind fine tunes the most primitive self as we touch that place of letting go and just being in the moment. It is hot and sensual will touch your inner nature of your true self and you learn to a new way to that hidden part of you.

Primal is the raw, animalistic, wild, sexual and uncivilized part of who we are conditioned to be in our daily life. We are taught to ignore, pretend and hide this feeling inside of us and not to share this wild side to the outside world. This exists within all of us and the animal within us is calling us out. Come change the dogma and find your true self as shed the taboo of what others have put on us.

Primal is a consciousness or space as an individual is connected to their animalistic, primal urges and thinking out of the box. It is sexual, wild and hot state of mind and a place where the dance begins.

Open enrollment is now in effect, and just like college, all the best classes fill up fast, so don’t get left out in the halls, reserve your space today!

Yummy snacks and refreshments will be served.

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I have mixed emotions about this subject

Mel_2014Just saw a post about bring family members in to the scene. I have mixed emotions about this subject. I’m a mother of an adult child and have a story to tell.

My daughter is not happy about my life choice of BDSM and that I’m as public as I am. She feel what we do is not right. I had a submissive and did a collaring ceremony at the Lair many years ago and when she found out she was mad at me for not inviting her. I knew how she felt about the all this and felt that she would not be a happy camper at the Lair. Watching me put a collar someone’s neck.

So months later I was celebrating my birthday at the Lair and I knew she was going out of town so I invited her. I knew she would not come but I was so wrong. Kane the owner of the Lair de Sade came and got me and said someone was outside that was not a member and wanted to come into my birthday party. When I walked out front there was my daughter and boyfriend with big smiles on their faces. I turned red knowing well enough that she would not enjoy this evening at all. She got an eye full that night and her boyfriend got a kick out all of this but this was really not her cup of tea. When the time came for my slave/boyfriend to take my spankings my daughter said it was time for her and her boyfriend to leave.

The Lair de Sade

The Lair de Sade

In the last 20 years she had been to the Lair two times afterwards once on Halloween and once for a fundraiser for our Live TV Network about BDSM. Watching her is like watching ants crawl all over her body and she is tied up. She is not kinky at all and I can tell on her face that is not a happy place for her.

My daughter calls us “you people” and looks down on what we do. So I’m public person in BDSM and she hates what I do. There is nothing I can do to convince her that we are normal people and not twisted mother fuckers that just are wracked out of our minds.

It’s not my job to convince her or to introduce her to my life choice, she lives her life to her own rules and interest. As her mother I have been a very good single mom that raised an amazing young woman that I’m so proud of.

She respects me and I respect her and I keep my life choice away from her because she feels very uncomfortable around all of this. She did not have an easy time being raised by a mother that thought out of the box as I was never a soccer mom and always a bit different.

I don’t believe it’s our job to bring our family members into BDSM but if they do come into the lifestyle on their own than we can be open about talking about this. Everyone has to make their own choice and if they are meant to be in this life choice they will find their way.

I respect my daughter choice and know this is not her thing so our family dinners are very vanilla and calm. I have to think about all of the people in my family that this could affect not just me. What I do is a choice and I protect her of people finding out. Most of us in this life style know each other but don’t really know our real name and we tend to keep it that way to protect our love ones. We call life choice Safe, Sane and Consensual because many of us try to keep our love ones safe from people knowing and judging them. This is what you do when you love your family and would never want to cause them harm in any way. My kink is not my daughter’s kink and protect her first and me second. It has always been this way and it will never change. We tell our sub’s that we hurt you but never harm you but with my daughter I will never hurt her or harm her in any way, that’s what mother’s do.

Thanks for reading this and walk in peace, love, joy and kink,
Rev Mel

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The Movie Fifty Shades of Grey are we ready for this?

Fifty Shades Of Grey - Official Trailer (Universal Pictures) HD

I see that there is a huge uproar in our community about the upcoming movie. When the books were release So many people come into my classes at the Lair that had read the books. I saw it taper down a bit but if this movie is a success in the vanilla world we will have more and people joining our community.

Some would think that we are not ready for this as a community as more and more people are coming into the life choice without really know what this thing we call BDSM is all about. I have taught thousands of newbies that have been brought in by the book and the movie they are going to come at records numbers.

It is up the season educators, teachers and players to educate the masses that are coming into the life style. We are not about fashion, how hard you can fling a flogger or how many slaves you own. It’s about honor and respect and integrity and how to keep a sub, slave or bottom safe. It’s about never harming the mind, body or soul and yes I will hurt you but never harm you in any way.

Community Leaders need to come together and work with each other to build a strong community of support. We will have many people coming in and yes Fetlife will in-cress in the amount of people joining but will this be good for our real time community? Only time will tell….

Hollywood is taking notice and BDSM is going to be the new hot topic to make TV series and movies much like the vampire did to TV and films.

Are we ready for this? I think we are as we have many educators, teachers and community leaders that are looking at how we can educate the new influx of people coming in. I see it on Facebook, Twitter, Fetlife and yes. I have written about it on

We as a community need to come together and support each other and reach out to newbies and talk to them about safety, protocol and how this all really work before we are inundated with movie viewers that want to beat their girlfriend or boyfriends and make sure no harm comes to them.

We are no longer hidden in a closet and are wide open for the world to see as the world will be looking at in a microscope and watching. How to deal with this simple. Embrace this as it’s going to happen and reach out to new comers and remember we were all newbies once long ago….

We survived the Story of O and the Secretary and we will survived Fifty Shades of Grey and we will more and more movies and TV series being creative that highlights our life choice. I try to look at the positive side of it we no longer have to hide in the closet and we are now of a less taboo and more expected in the vanilla world.

The humanizing of BDSM started with the fashion industry, then Goth Clubs, books and now movies. As I have coined the phrase at Dom Con a few years ago to a group of 8 vanilla people when they asked what was Dom Con about. I looked in the gentleman’s eyes and said ” There is not a street in United States that someone is not being tied to a bed, blindfolded and spanked, we are not much different that then the vanilla world”. He got it and smiled and understood as it hit a core with him.

We still have to live in the vanilla world and still have to have common sense when we are out in the vanilla world. As we sit in the movie theater and watch Fifty Shades of Grey and they get some of the things wrong we will shake in our boots but how long did it take us to get it right? This is just the beginning as our community was up in arms about the Goth Clubs when they started and it did change the way we looked at BDSM. This movie will do the same so pull up your boot strings and support your local community and make a difference.
Walk in peace everyone and find joy in this life as you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Rev Mel

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Where is the community going?


I am one that has seen a huge change in our community over the last 20 years and some of it good and some is not. After teaching over 9 or 10 thousands of people that come to my class at the Lair de Sade over 12 years has taught me so much. Life is a con stance change and more and more people are coming into our life choice every day. We are no longer hidden in the closet and we are wide open for all to see.

I welcome this and can’t say that yesterday was better than today as we have to grow as a community and as we begin to think out of the box. The only thing that I see what is happening is that we have lost a lot of compassion for others. That will happen when you so many new people coming into a life choice without really understanding what the people in the past did to lay down the path for today’s community.

We have changed as a community because our community has crossed countless boarders because of the internet and we have the ability to right out to millions of likeminded folks. Our way of life has change and I embrace this change as we can only grow from it. The past has gotten us to today and for now all we can do is educate all that are coming in and embrace them with love and understanding. Life is always in a motion of change without the change we would be sleeping in caves.

As, I have coined this phase many years ago at Dom Con as a group of vanilla people sat across our table with questions on their faces. I walked up to the table and said “I think you have lots of questions”? One of the gentleman at table said “Yes, what is going here?” I replied to him “There is not a street that someone is not being tied to a bed, blindfolded and spank as we are not different then yourself. The looked into his eyes as he smiled and it forever changed my life. We all started vanilla and we all made a choice to join this community of likeminded people. We all have made mistakes as we continue our BDSM path and the lessons that we have learned is priceless.
I, for one love the way our community has grown as I now have friends all over the world as we share with each other our love and understanding. Every community has to evolve and move in the direction that will change all of forever. We must never forget the human factor in what we do and never forget kindness and know that all of us are learning valuable lessons about who we are. Yes, we are community but also individuals with our own way of looking life itself. We create our own path and control our own life as we make choices. We can choose to make a difference and follow the pack or we can choose to create our thoughts from a place of individuality and common sense. We were all born and will all die someday but it what you do here while you are breathing matters. Go with the flow of change or hold on to the past is a personal choice. I welcome all the new people that find this life choice something that might bring a sparkly to their daily life.
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Our past was not scary it a learning curve and an education and created a path towards today. Change is not a bad thing and it can scary but it is necessary to build a stronger community. No one is ruining the scene is just evolving into something different and it will be interesting to see where this path takes us.
I just sit back and watch it as it evolves on to the next stage of growth much like a baby as it moves from baby to toddler to teenagers and to an adult. I have high hopes for our next generations that will replace us as we have so many wonderful educators that reacheding out to so some many. We are one in all of this and feel that we must be there and support our community in a positive way and never forget the past but to move on to expect change. Change is a good thing and I embrace it and I still have my memories of the past and smile at the thoughts of those memories. The past is the past, I live in today and do think about tomorrow but tomorrow will happen and I’m looking forward to see what it will bring.
Rev Mel

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