True Authentic and Transparent Self

Mel_2014True Authentic and Transparent Self

 To truly know our self, we must “understand who we are, how we want to be perceived, as well as what we aspire to be~ Sindell & Sindell, 2014~

True Authentic and Transparent Self

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How does one give permission to their true authentic and transparent self? Where do we begin? We talk about being truly authentic and transparent but how many just mouths the words?

Every day we take this journey into our own lives and learn something new as we interact with love one’s, friends and strangers at each crossing.  With being in both worlds one vanilla and the other world of BDSM how do we stay authentic and transparent to ourselves and others?

Transparency reveals the character of a person and when you show Transparency it lets others know that you are a person of integrity and you honor yourself. Being authentic and transparent is a relationship with oneself and allowing others to see your true self.  The key to ones self is, transparency, authenticity and accountability as we walk in both worlds of BDSM and Non-BDSM world. We must not also forget the part of us called our soul as walk on the path of true authentic and transparent self.

Please listen to the audio recorded on my thoughts about being authentic and transparent.

Rev Mel

Go to: [http://TSRnetwork.com/] or click on following links

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http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Youtube

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We are the Real 50 Shades of Grey….
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Shows Produced by M.A.P. Productions and TSRnetwork Studio
This was recorded on my IPHONE.

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Justin Sayne Independent Leather Designer on The Rev Mel Show

The Rev Mel Show with guest Justin Sayne

The Rev Mel Show live on Monday’s at 8 PM PST on TSRnetwork.com each week. Come and Join us in the chat room on TSRnetwork.com.

Justin Sayne is a independent Leather Designer, specializing in Fetish Leather. Justin began in May 2010, as a worker under Debbie Leather, in Arizona. Justin assisted in making corsets, cutting patterns, and designing Fetish toys. In the last 4 years, Justin has placed 3 toys in the Erotic Heritage Museum, been reviewed by Instigator Magazine, and has featured JSL product at high profile events across the country.
Hudsy Hawn AVN 2014 Interviews

Justin has always had a focus for safety, and it’s shown from the heavy duty Chicago screw bindings, to fashionable corset style armor for injured or sensitive bottoms, and all the way to breath play devices that release themselves.
Justin has a list of unique designs, seen nowhere else on earth. His “Flamethrower” and woven corset design are on display at the EHM. Each item is hand made by Justin and ultimately one of a kind.

Justin has recently started working with wild skin including, buffalo, elk, alligator, and is now offering custom products made in elephant, crocodile, giraffe, snake, shark, hippo and more.

Justin recently expanded his shop with new machines and is prepared for high output. Justin has a strong sense of community pride, and demands a high quality, safe product.

Justin is a veteran auctioneer, and will never refuse an opportunity to call a charity auction. His years of experience have been put to work raising funds for community members in trouble. Justin will never ask for a dime in return, and only asks for expenses if called out of state.

Justin resides in Mayer AZ.

Photos of Justin Leather Work..

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Where to watch the show:

Go to: [http://TSRnetwork.com/] or click on following links

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Watch-Live

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Youtube

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Group-Fetlife

Pop Up Chatroom,

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-ChatRoom

We are the Real 50 Shades of Grey….
#bdsm
#tsrnetwork.com
#fetish
#talkingsexradio.com
#therevmelshow

Shows Produced by M.A.P. Productions and TSRnetwork Studio

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Safe Knife Play

Dynamics by High Lord Bubba

lordbubba copy

Ask Yourself – Am I able to do this without injuring my partner? What do I do if I cut them accidentally? What if I trigger some emotional scene? What if others laugh at he knife I use? Will I fulfill my subs desires? Is my skill level sufficient to do what we have discussed? Will others enjoy watching our scene?

• Knife play has somewhat of a mental taboo because people fear getting cut. However, consensual knife play is probably one of the safest forms of physical play as you get immediate feedback when a problem occurs. Compare that to rope or impact play where the damage is often hidden, and may not surface until hours or days later. Sometimes those other types of play will result in lifelong injuries. As with all play in this lifestyle, it all comes down to successful communication. Truly, successful Communication with your paramount is matched by the need for communication with yourself.

• Always remember that shit happens! There is always the possibility of something going wrong. A sudden cramp, an instant’s distraction, anything unexpected!

• The very best practice dummy is yourself. That way, you receive instant feedback of the highest order on what you are doing at that moment, in as clear a communication as possible!

• Accept the limitation that you are only able to control yourself and your actions. About the only way to prevent a trigger is to ask your partner about the possibility of it then plan your scene around it. However, your partner may not know a certain action will be a trigger or they will feel they are over it, but you just happen to have that one other factor involved that makes it happen. Plan for this and if it never happens great, but if it rears its ugly head, at least you are prepared.

• I mention the use of a credit card edge. If you are able to paint the scene well enough with your words you don’t even need a knife! Use you imagination and have fun with it! The more you practice, the more you will learn to think “Outside the Sheath” which in turn makes you a better knife player.

• For the subject, doing knife play requires that you be upfront and honest about what you want/need. You need to be able to trust them not to harm physically or emotionally and most importantly, you need to understand that you are the one in control of the scene.

• The Doms may ask questions that the subject does not think are relevant, but if you were in their shoes, you would understand. Don’t be embarrassed about answering anything, or about volunteering information that wasn’t asked for. Don’t feel that the other person is going to make fun of you or look down on you because you put limits on the session. If the other partner wants something out of the scene that you don’t or can’t do, then don’t be ashamed to walk away. Mental training for the subject is all about self-confidence

• Be confident in what you want, and be specific in how you express that to your partner. Maybe you want to be scared. Then let them know that you get off on the sensation that a knife can bring. Want some or all of your clothing cut off, then prepare for that with your clothing choice, and let them know. Your partner cannot read your mind, so don’t put them in the position where they have to guess.

• Tell your partner so they will know how you will react to something like grabbing your hair firmly, and holding the knife blade to your throat. If you had a bad experience or got cut accidentally one time. Let the partner know so they can know how you might react.
• If you find yourself that this is just a game and you are looking for an escape at the first possible moment, something has gone wrong and you need to safeword right then and there. If you want it to end and it doesn’t  you have now been assaulted and the authorities should be contacted.
• If your partner says that they “had to do that for your own good”, that is bullshit and you’re getting yourself in danger with that partner physically and emotionally down the road.
• If you think there is something wrong with that last statement, that’s fine, but I’ve yet to meet the person that gets in the car after their partner says they need to have you join them while they crash it.

Safety

• Knives are not toys, remember the purpose of a knife was as a weapon, to hurt or even kill someone
• Always have a good quality first aid kit, with antibiotic ointment, cotton balls, fabric band aids and sterile strips, otherwise known as butterfly bandages
• Negotiate your scene, take your time, and never use a knife on another that you have not used on your own skin
• Always clean knives before and after any play session
• Do not boil knives to sterilize. It may warp the blade or cause it to lose its temper
• Have sub shower before play and then wipe her down with alcohol

. Use either a very sharp knife or a dull edge. Those in the middle are dangerous because they are uncontrollable

• Pull knife toward you, never push it
• If scraping, hold blade at 45 degree angle to the skin
• Do not cut above the shoulders. Too many sensitive and irreplaceable bits
• Hold your blade as an artist holds and controls a paintbrush. Your sub is your precious canvas. Be creative while maintaining your control
• Start off with a knife with a blade no larger than the width of your hand
• Always anticipate a flinch or a sudden noise like a plate breaking that might cause your subject to flinch. Know ho

w your subject flinches, in which direction, how much movement, a jerk or a quiver, etc.

• for the absolute safety of the top, NEVER destroy clothing, unless that has been negotiated. The Dom that destroys her brand new matching bra and panties from Victoria’s Secret is asking to die!
• Remember that Knife play is the ultimate edge play and is legally considered assault with a deadly weapon, because it is!

Techniques

• Spank your sub using a long flat blade
• Style, technique, experience and control all impact upon your skill and presentation
• .Preparing the site for the scene should be considered a part of the scene, and may help your sub get into the scene in her mind
• Run your blade up their body, while whispering of all the things you will do to them if they are not a good little slave and stay perfectly still
• Use a very sharp knife to demonstrate cutting of paper, and then once they are blindfolded switch to a different knife
• Use the edge of a credit card instead of a blade edge. You can bear down on their skin without cutting

 

• Put a blade into icy water or freezer to use while it is cold
• Use a blade or credit card dripping with warm water to make them feel as if you have cut them and they are bleeding, even a drop or two
• Hold up your biggest, baddest knife while speaking commands to them, then switch knives, once they are blindfolded
• Use knife to cut their undergarments off, same with bondage rope
• Use cord to suspend multiple blades from a stick or bamboo to tickle their skin in multiple locations simultaneously
• Remember that the psychological aspect may be more important to your subject than the actual physical aspects. Know your sub and her motivations. It isn’t called a mind fuck for nothing!
• A lot of knife play is about scraping, touching and rubbing instead of or in addition to cutting. It is not necessary to bring blood for the knife play to be very stimulating and fulfilling for both parties
• Pour hot wax on them and use the blade to scrape the cooled wax off them

 

• Role play scenes that might involve knives could be interrogations, kidnapping, rape, sacrifice or punishment
• Have a candle or Sterno flame nearby t heat up a blade, and then use a blade from the freezer instead. You could also use the heated blade to place upon a small piece of meat, the sizzling sound and the smell could create the most awesome mind fuck ever!

Choosing a Knife

• Choose your first knives for functionality, not fashion
• Consider a knife made from rubber or polyester as a training or practice knife
• Use a knife with a blade length of approximately the width of your hand at first
• Weight, size, balance, handle and price are all worthy considerations when selecting any knife. Expect to have knives that are only used for your knife play
• Avoid overly long knives as they are unwieldy and hard to balance after a while they may cause your touch and control to degrade

• Any blade that has a nick is no longer safe for use in knife play
• Do not use any knife with a fully serrated edge, as it will be difficult to control
• Always use knives that only have one sharp edge in the beginning
• Never buy a knife with a plated blade. The plating may flake into a wound and cause infection. Also a chrome plated blade is impossible to get really sharp
• The handle should feel comfortable at all angles in your hand, otherwise it will be limited in its usage
• Knives with an overly heavy handle will be hard to judge how much pressure you are putting on the blade
• Consider how hard it might become to control the knife if sweat or water or blood gets on the handle making it slick. Have a towel handy
• Avoid knives with extra decorative parts that might hand up on things like rings, necklaces or bracelets

• An easy way to purposely dull an edge is to drag the blade across steel wool on top of a cutting board, similar to slicing bread

• It is easier to sharpen a blade than it is to regain the confidence of someone that you accidentally wounded
• Choose stainless steel blades and remember that stainless does not mean rustles. A wipe down with mineral oil will help preserve your blades
• Never play with a rusty knife The likelyhood of infection is quite high
• Keep blades separated from one another. Having a canvas or leather pouch will protect your blades from one another as well as protecting you from the dangers lurking in your toy bag
• Use germicidal soap and/or alcohol to clean and sterilize your tools
• Use the knife on yourself first to learn the feel of the blade. Start off with the dull side and progress to the sharp side as you drag the blade across your thigh. Eventually, you should have welts and ridges across your thigh as a result of your familiarization and practice with that blade

Your First Scene

• Ok, you have carefully Selected your first knife, dulled it sufficiently that you are not going to hurt anyone, and practiced on yourself.
• Now you are going to take knife in hand and stimulate someone very sensually.
• This is not the time to jump ahead in the script and try all those things you have just learned about. Neither is is

it the time to try role playing or D/s or M/s play.
• It is not the time to try mind fucks of any variety. This is just an extension of your practice. Just the basics will do very nicely.
• It may take you as much as a year before you do a scene with your normal partner without extensive negotiation and pre-planning. Explain what is going to happen and help them to relax.
• Have them to lay down in a relaxed and on a clean and sturdy surface. Never do this on a water bed! A standing subject is very different. Muscle tension, skin looseness, etc.
• Take your time, and you relax as well as your subject. Check in with your sub periodically to ensure she is OK with all th

is and is not being quiet because she is terrified…

• Be caring, concerned, and supportive as you develop a subject that has trust and confidence in you.

Resources

Cutlerycorner.net
Mostly hunting and field knives, with occasional exotics. Good prices.
SMKW.com Smokey Mountain Knife Works
All kinds of knives, reasonably priced. A source for rubber or polyester training and
practice knives
Bigbobsknives.com
Some exotics, smaller assortments reasonable prices

The Toybag Guide to Erotic Knifeplay, Miranda Austin

One of the few lifestyle references for learning about Knife Play. Highly recommended!

Several Groups here on Fetlife.com related to knives and knife play.

Running With ScissorsKnife Cravings
Knife Play Central
Blood/Knife Play Pictures
Knife Lovers
On The Knifes Edge
Knife Play
Fear Play
…the list goes on and on….

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