“A mental mind fuck can be nice…” ~Frank N. Furter
A few months ago I was asked to explain the “mind fuck.” This is what I said…
So mind fucks…. The examples below are NOT without negotiations.
Now this can be as simple as calling people on their shit or when appropriate using the truth against someone.
An example would be applying this concept to discipline: I might ask a sub to complete a task or cease unwanted behavior. In negotiations I will ask for them to create their consequences or ask what if questions to find what will really get to them.
Any infraction procures a reminder of these consequences, “What was it you said I could do to you if you fucked up?” And here’s the Kicker: I might make them *beg* for the privilege of my giving them this consequence. “Please Mommy, spank me, I’ve been a bad boy” (or whatever they are into)
Sometimes it’s part of the negotiations:
I already knew one of my play partners had an extreme distaste for a-symmetrical rope. During this play session’s negotiations, she approved the mind fuck. So after I had already tied down wrists and ankles to a chair, I grabbed my 10 foot rope (I use to practice knots) and tied down one thigh, saying I wanted her legs spread open more. “Oh, but look there’s not enough rope for the other thigh. I guess you’ll have to be lopsided…. 0h well, sux to be you.”
Sometimes it’s about knowing the boundaries and how to push them:
I was re-organizing my toy bag at my girl friend’s house and she picks up the huge purple dildo off the bed and says, “This one scares me!” So I make her carry it around the house for the rest of the day, “to make friends with it.” That night I made her beg me to fuck her with it.
Sometimes things just happen on the fly:
Newbie sub I brought to his 2nd or 3rd play party ever (never even been naked in public before)…. accidently dropped a cane into the pool. Looking @ me with those, “Oh shit,” puppy dog eyes, he asked me, “I guess I have to go get that? But I didn’t bring a swim suit?” Typical Thizbee answer again: “I guess it sux to be you.”
I have to say watching him undress in front of 20 strangers = Priceless!
So then he wasn’t allowed to redress after (except for you know, rope).
Anyways…. you get the idea…
I think it helps that I’m a smart ass. And that my bullshit detector is cranked up to eleven.
Other tactics in my mind fuck arsenal? I’ve perfected the whispery demon voice in your ear and I negotiate like a mother-fucker! I’ve also figured out how to balance having kind words in my mouth and meanness in my hands…. But the real trick to the mind fuck is being a good listener.