I just read a posting on another site and there was so much anger in the post. I thought to myself where has all the compassion has gone. Have we lost human compassion for another? Is this where our BDSM community is going? We protect the predators that have a name and criticize the submissive for expressing him or herself post about it in a public form. Amazing when a negative post is put out their everyone rally s around it but when anyone post something positive it may get a comment here or there.
What will our future of BDSM look like as it does not look like it did 20 or 15 years ago. We have become a community of egos and have lost the core of who we are. Are we still in high school where bullies rule the world? I have seen thousands and thousands of people come into the lifestyle and never before have I seen so many people with bloated egos and contempt for our foundation of honesty and respect. Where are we heading as many of the older generation have stop coming to public events and the bullies are running scene.
What I have learned are not easy lessons but well worth it and would like to share what I have learned with you. Many of what I have learned is common sense and how to have compassion for another and not to let ego rule your heart and soul.
Each person has lessons to learn and it’s about taking responsibly for your actions what come and go in your life. It’s the lessons of life that you learn from and many of us keep making the same mistake over and over again because it’s a lesson that many of us have not quite really looked at yet. It takes two people to make a relationship work not just one.
Know thy self-first before you enter into a relationship, value yourself and think before you run into someone’s arm, bed or commitment. Don’t move fast and ask questions and put a side of the thoughts that this person will complete me. Complete yourself first and know who you are.
These are lessons that I’m still learning as many of us are trying to understand the big question WHY? It happens because we allow ourselves to open up our hearts and soul and let someone in.
Are we all healthy emotionally, NO, but it’s the lessons that we learn about our self’s that matter. We each take different a rode to get to the same place of self-respect some just get there sooner than others.
There is no right or wrong here and learning how to walk in other people shoes is very importance and it’s the first step in taking responsibly for our action, thought and reaction. Life is not just black and white is filled with such color and at times we lose our-self and make bad choices. By looking at the choices and seeing what part you played in is the rode to making better choices in the future.
Who here that has commented have not made a bad choice in their life and got hurt and went public and went on and on about it?
I try not to post things public of things of personal nature in a public form but I have done it with friends. Yes, many got sick of hearing me and would roll their eyes but when you’re in pain you are blind and can’t see what you’re doing. After time has passed and you have to reflect on how you played a big role in it all you realized a few things.
What you realized is that you picked that person for one reason or another and you allowed that person in your life. There was something that you needed from that person it could be the need to own a slave or the need to spank or whatever but taking responsibility is the first step.
Some of us are willing victims and some are not but each of us are on our own personal journey. When I see someone hurting I listen and respect that they are hurting but I have learned not to carry it round on my shoulders. Compassion for another is so importance and we go to play parties to play and at time we are so busy with our own addenda to really look at the person that is hurting. It’s easy to say that a person is unstable but when they are hurting they are, who has not felt this in their life time. We make wrong choices for wrong reason but we have to step back and really look at how we added to these choices and take responsibility for our actions. But that can happen only after time has healed the wounds and fragile ego.
We all have been there, as these are life lessons and without the life lesson how would we ever know about our self’s? These lessons have molded me into the person that I have become and for that I’m grateful. Without them I would have not known thy self and I would have stayed the willing victim in life. With life you just show up each day and let it take you to self-awareness where you find your true self.
Walk in peace, love and joy,
Rev Mel
