The Words Lifestyle and Community

Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together. -Eugene Ionesco~

What comes to my mind is we as humans is we need a way to communicate so we use words and put labels on thing so we can understand each other. Some people think that putting labels on things is a bad thing, I think if we did not have some sort of labels in place that we would live in a world that would be just black and white.
We all have made a choice to come in to the BDSM community with all its bad and good. It seems like forever that we are all still here talking about the word Lifestyle. I like to call it my life choice as I chosen this way of life.

Lifestyle community are words and mean so much more than just words. We are vast, with millions of like-minded people with one goal and that is BDSM or something that has to do with it. I don’t have a problem calling it a Lifestyle. As lifestyle is just a word to express myself and what type of group I play in.
What community means to me a way of being a part of something bigger than just one or two like-minded friends. Some will say that we have no community but I beg to differ. In my mind body and soul I’m part of this community of very creative and loving kinky people that love BDSM and the freedom to be who we are.
We can twist around words but really we have the freedom to believe in community or not to. I believe in community and think that everyone one of us can make a difference.
I find peace that there are millions of people just like us when it concerns our Life choice or if you call it lifestyle, there is no right or wrong here. Every single one of us can make a difference to create a better place for all of us.

These are just words but its what’s is in your heart and mind that defines us and we just use these terms to communicate.
I’m proud to say I’m part of the BDSM Lifestyle Community and I will never tell anyone that they are wrong when they say it’s not a community as everyone has the right to believe in what they believe in.

I have learned more about myself in this community than I would have thought when I first discovered BDSM. The road was not away easy but it worth it as I have seen so much over the last 20 years and I’m still here, that has to say something about what we call lifestyle community?

It is who I am and I feel my first years was about learning my craft and going to parties and having fun but then it became a place where I could be of service. I have taken the ego out of BDSM for myself and replace with calm peaceful bliss. Being of service to our community has given me a sense of peace. I don’t play much anymore but I love to go the Lair de Sade and just sit in the main room and listen to the sounds. I find so much peace in those sounds and to me that is heaven and community and I feel it in my heart and soul.

Walk in peace love and joy.
Rev Mel
Founder of

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About Rev Mel

Rev Mel is a female Dom with over 20 years in the lifestyle and an ordained minister who firmly believes that religion and hot wet sex go hand-in-hand. She tells it like it is, and preaches that a life filled with indulgent sex is a life that?s fun, sanctimonious and worth living. To her critics, she responds, ?What?s the big deal? Our mothers and daughters do it? even the government representatives who want to control how sex is depicted in our culture do it ? sometimes in ways their constituents could never imagine.? Host of the Rev Mel show on each Monday night and she has interviewed Jay Wiseman, Venus De Mila, Guy Baldwin, Midori, Nina Hartley and so many other outstanding leaders in the BDSM Community. The Rev Mel is live on Monday nights at 8 PM PST Only on your place for Live Kink TV... She founded The Sacred Realm known as The Church of Perversion and Debauchery (COPAD) in Los Angeles and and the Sacred Realm and is a BDSM consultant, educator and freedom rider. The Sacred Realm is an alternative non-traditional spiritual group that embraces all sexual orientations and sexual practices. We welcome all lifestyles and anyone who wish to explore their spiritual side of life. Rev Mel is also the founder of BDSM Pride Day and the TSR Peoples choice awards a live broadcast from Hollywood, CA. BDSM PRIDE DAY is OUR day: a day of unity- a day for BDSM-coming-out ? a day of protest against discrimination ? a day of celebrations and parties ? SM Pride! The last 10 years Rev Mel have been teaching the S/m 101 open forum at the Lair de Sade a class for new people to this life choice.

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