Would Like to Share a Story With You.

Just So Peace full

Just So Peace full

Peaceful place

Peaceful place

I would like to share a story with you. A few weeks ago I had I had an change to attend an event at Liberty Manor out in Texas for a pre-opening of this amazing glam-camp, camp ground that that is for the BDSM community. My friend Ms Manell a friend of mine was launching this amazing place where like minded people can go and be with other like minded people and have the freedom to be who we are and that is kinky.

Being a city girl and being out in the country was something that I had not done in all most 35 years. My glam tent was amazing and the place was about 30 miles outside of Houston on 1500 acres.

My Camp Site

My Camp Site

My Wonderful Bed

My Wonderful Bed

After a cool drink we got up on back of truck and sat on hay stacks and the hay ride began. As we drove around I felt something strange and pulled around a corner our host said over to the left is a small cemetery. My heart sank as I felt someone present that has passed. We got off of the truck and all of us walked over to the grave site. There was only two head stones there and one was child that was died as an infant and one that died at the age of 9. I could hear a voice in my head that just would not stop. It was this amazing energy that was bouncing all over the place. She kept trying to talk to me and I was taken back but I could not make out what she was saying.

The owner Ms Manell slave gus told me a story that the tombstone of the little girl was broken and they would

put it back together by standing it up and the next time they would go back to where it was and it was in pieces again. One day they put it together again and they started to walk away and they heard the ground tremble and loud noise. They went back to the grave site and the once again the piece were on the ground.

The Cemetery

The Cemetery

Gus asked me what feelings did get about the little girl and was she ok with us coming over the grave site. What I felt was that she was lonely and this was joyful for her as she just a lonely soul that was happy to have people around.  On her stone she died in 1900 and she has been alone all this time. She wanted to be known and wanted their attention and so she made know to them she was there.

We left the grave site but she followed me as I could not shake her present. In the course of the evening I meet new friends and we sat round the fire place as they keep talking about snakes and other types of things that come out and they were screwing around with me. I was more worried about the little girl that was sitting next to me on the ground at my feet then the snakes.

I went to sleep and slept under the covers but I could feel her. The next day we did what you do at such an event and eat and gather at the bonfire at mid night we got back on the truck on the hay stack’s and went back to the grave site. You see at mid-night it was her birthday so we took a glass candle and a teddy bear and places it on next to the tombstone. We could hear a train in the background and I asked the owner when the train was built. He said 1900 and it confirmed what she was telling me. The train sound was so comforting to her as she would listen to the sound of the train when she was alive.

We are all standing there and shut my eyes and started speaking in tongue and I started rocking. All of sudden I was pushed back with such a force that I was almost knocked over. There were two people standing next to me and caught me and at that moment I heard her voice in my head.

She cried out I’m sorry tell my mommy I’m sorry it was said over and over again in my mind. She keep saying I died because my mommy said don’t go out to the barn. I disobeyed my mommy. She keep saying this even as we walked away from the grave site. I had to two people walk me back to the truck and they place me inside the cab as I was shaking.

One of my new friends came back to my camp site with me and we talked for hours and he felt the same that I felt and we cried tears for this little girl that sat my feet. When I went to bed I told my new friend that the little girl was welcome to come and sleep in my bed. I felt her next to me and it was a feeling of joy and love. It was something that she was missing and what she need.

What was amazing was that I fell right to sleep and slept for hours. I woke up feeling so refreshed and loved. I could feel a feeling of peace from the little girl that would not leave my side. It felt like that some of my walls were broken down and I felt much softer and that it brought out the gentle part of my soul. She changed me!

That afternoon we did a self-hypnosis class and that’s when the little girl took over and talked to me more about how she died. She said it was at night and she went to the barn and climbed the latter to get something. Her mother told her not to go to in the barn during the day. She snaked out of bed knowing she was disobeying her mother. She talked so fast and was all over the place. I kept getting two different stories from her one was I feel off the second floor of the barn and the other was I died of infection. She kept telling me both things and I’m sorry mommy.

The next day I lead a meditation about past lives and it was an amazing time shared with such amazing people and as we came out of the meditation we shared what we saw. I was leading this so I did not go on the journey in the past lives, but what happens when I lead a meditation I have no control over what is said as my spirit guides take over me. The little girl was right next to me.

I was able to talk to her in a calm way and yes she died of both as she fell off the second floor she landed on a pitch fork and it did not kill her but the infection afterwards did. Her mother could not cope with losing her so she took her own life. The sadness and pain over took as I started to cry tears. I went back to my glam-tent after the meditation and was quiet as I my eyes cried over the pain of this child dealing with 125 years of guilt.  I could feel her pain and also the release of being able to share this someone. I felt she was a peace and she told me the owner of land was her protector and she told me to thank him.

The morning I was leaving she come to me and I close my eyes and told she was safe now and she was free from guilt. Her mother came to me and there was healing of two souls. I left knowing that she was now happy and could find peace.

The owner was at my meditation and on the way to the airport he told me as he cried that felt that he was her protector way before I placed my foot the grave site. Not only did this little girl touch my heart but she touched everyone’s heart that was there that weekend. She is now loved by so many and she happy.

Rev Mel

Ms Manell and gus will be interviewed on June 16 on the Rev Mel Show at 8 PM PST on TSRnetwork.com

 

 

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Thizbee’s DomCon LA 2014 Photo Journal

Thizbee’s DomCon LA 2014 Photo Journal

dom
Wow!
What a great weekend! I’m sure if you take a look online you will find all kinds of photos of Pro Dominas and the Mistress Tea. But but here are pix I took of things I did this weekend: Hanging out with Poly family and loved ones, and meeting wonderful new friends as well!

Please feel free to email me with comments, suggestions, your photos, or any names I missed at:
Thizbee.Sez@gmail.com

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Thizbee Sez, Vinzent, and Rev Mel
***

 

23This is my 8th DomCon and my 3rd year teaching my Poly and Kink class: Alphabet Soup. DomCon also happens to be Vinzent’s and my anniversary. For some of my loves I count the anniversary as the first time we finally met after months of chatting online. Some I count the first date. Some I count as the first time we did it. But since Vinzent likes to tell folks we had sex before we ever dated (it was a four way tripple penetration scene with Vinzent in my mouth).
We count the first time we said “I love you.”
But Feisty Geisty is the sub
that does all the real fun subby stuff now.
Proud to have her as my metamour!

 

 

The plan was to depart San Diego at noon on Weds via Amtrak. But the fires trapped me at the Santa Fe Depot until after 4pm.
So Vinzent drove down to get me.5
I finally arrived in LA at 2:45am that next morning4

.

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                      Over packing, again                             Santa Fe Depot, Downtown San Diego

 Friday Night at the DomCon Play Party at Sanctuary Studios LAX. Rope work by Thizbee Sez.

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  This voluptuous lady made my rope all wet. Now I have something extra to add to my laundry. But with those curves that wreck my nerves…. I don’t mind!

***

These were my favorite classes from Saturday and Sunday afternoon:
• “Shit my Domme Says” By Danorama
• “Middling” – Three Way Play: Proxy Topping” By Danorama
• “Beyond Monogamy” By Mistress Lady Anastasia
• “Alphabet Soup” By Thizbee Sez
• “Daddy Dom / little girl Primer” By Daddy Vinnie and Lolita

***

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My new Kinky Celebrity Crushes: Danorama and his girl Mia

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My San Diego kinky buddies: Daddy Vinnie and Lolita

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Here are just a few folks from my Alphabet Soup class. Even though technical difficulties kept me from using the PowerPoint presentation, we still had a great time. Thanks to all my class attendees!
You guys are fucking awesome!
***
And of course what DomCon is complete without the SHOPPING!!!!
These are some examples:

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Leyland Toys are all Vegan. Just some amazing work.         For all my duck loving friends!
I got a short crop 2 years ago for my birthday
and its still going strong.

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Can’t grow your own `hawk? Try Firebird Leather feather `hawks!

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Pink Ballerina and Black Latex Boots…                                      DomCon Pony Show display
Doesn’t get any better than that

***

Yet one more reason to LOVE DomCon…. Friends!

 

This is what happens when crazy spriral hair accessories and mohawks try to stand next to each other.

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Captain Goddess Domina Mistress Lady Anastasia (….because she just doesn’t have enough titles!)

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A little Blackula snack!                Luzia Lowe… Mohawk friends!

 

***

More San Diego Kinky buddies!

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Vic Sharpe is a very sharp dresser!                                                        Ronin & lil Zoey

**

My favorite Play Party during the DomCon weekend is on Sunday night at the hotel.  Sometimes break down happens in the back ground, sometimes there isn’t much equipment, but that doesn’t matter because there always good friends and fun to be had by all!

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Including me.  I don’t think of my self as a rope bunny but I do love watching Vinzent create.

 

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Thizbee and Mistress Melissa…                                                   Alice who lives in a palce!

Just two moms hanging out.

 

***

Towards the end of the evening Mistress Cyan was passed a paddle with many signatures that would later be auctioned off for charity.  Submissives were asked if they wanted a wack to line up.  I asked if bottoms who just liked pain could take a turn, so I got in line.  Then after the first wack I asked for another, only harder! And she let me have it too…..Wow, that felt good!

 

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Lessons learned at this year’s DomCon:

  1. Call the Hotel more than a month before the event if you want a suite
  2. No matter how much you plan ahead, no matter how detailed your itinerary: Fire always wins
  3. Even after 8 years, I still over pack
  4.  “Please” and “Thank you” go along way
  5. Write down the level of your car on the little envelope the hotel gives you for your room key
  6. Japaneese flight attendents in their uniforms are HOT!
  7. 3 days in an airconditioned environment means lots of oatmeal moisturizer
  8. Carl’s Jr breakfast sandwich is not as good the third morning as it was the first
  9. Thizbee’s brain damage and florescent lights are not friends!
  10. The Hilton LAX has wonderful service, beautiful rooms, and lovely atmosphere; but there is nothing like coming home to your own bed!

 

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This last year has been a busy one for me.

This last year has been a busy one for me…. Finding new people in my life, maintaining ongoing relationships, learning more and more strategies on how to successfully navigate my kinky and vanilla lives with brain damage. (I will be writing more about that in the future, consider it a teaser.) I have been to some play parties in both LA and San Diego. I taught an orientation class for groups in the San Diego Community. I took a trip to visit on old flame from 10 years back when I was living in a quad with 5 kids (3 of them mine). He is the only person I still talk to after all the drama of a large poly family coming to a close. And now what I am looking for to is:
domcon

It’s coming!!!!!!
So out there in other alternative communities, events are “buzzed about” and “previewed” and
“reviewed” (think ComicCon and E3 for the nerds in the room)… In that vein, here are my class recommendations. One of these is self promoting. Some are friends who have good stuff to talk about and some are just classes I’m looking forward to and am excited about.
____________________

These are the classes I am attending this year (and mine of course)

domcon1

Here are some amazing people in my life who have reached that place in their journey where giving back to the community is part of who they are. Daddy Vinnie and Lolita are friends of mine from the kinky community in San Diego. I met them several years ago and have seen them grow as newish folks to the community on through starting their own munch that has met every month for over a year. I encouraged them to go beyond San Diego and share their style of kink at DomCon and here there are.
Sarge Servatis is another San Diego friend whom I am pleasantly surprised to see at DomCon this year. She is an amazing person. If you are attending Dom Con this year, please drop by their classes.
Vinzent, one of my BF’s and all around terrific human being, is teaching a Rope Class, go check it out.
I will be teaching a continuation class with Satyr this year on Poly and Kink. In the last two years my class was sorta of a Poly 101… and this would be more like 102. We are gonna tackle the hurdles in maintaining healthy poly relationships.
Also, currently not listed yet, but should be coming back again this year is Lady Anastasia’s class on Poly and the brain. If you are nerdy or poly or both, it’s a must. Science!
____________________
And on to the classes I am excited about attending!
domcon3
These are subjects where I can always pick up new tricks, or hone my skills. I love to learn to new things!
I have sat in Simon Blaise’s class on Owning Your Kink, I highly recommend it.
I am also looking forward to The Middling class (yet another way to incorporate poly and kink) and the “Shit my Domme Says” because I think there is great power in how Doms/Dommes communicate with their submissives. This may make for future articles… as will all of DomCon.
So in a few weeks I will be letting know you how I survived and what I learned and all the fun things I came across. Until then, PLEASE feel free to send me a comment, suggestion, or questions
Thizbee.Sez@gmail.com

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Liberty Manor

liberty3

image(1)
LM2
Liberty Manor is a place that you can live your life with complete freedom. Its over 300 acres situated on our 1400 acre farm. You must be 21 or older to attend, with miles of trails, water features, and all that nature has to offer, you won’t be bored, and best of all our place is closer than you think. 35 min from downtown Houston, 40 from Beaumont, and 35 from BOTH airports!

Our philosophy is simple, we are non-judgmental, pan-sexual and open to everyone regardless of their lifestyle or kink.

Our only hard fast rules are:
1. Remember, this is our back yard so keep it legal, and respectful.
2. Accept everyone just as you wish to be accepted.

Liberty Manor considers itself a “pansexual” facility, as such we respect any (legal) lifestyle. Rest assured you will not be turned away based on sexual preference here.

Liberty Manor is the perfect place to host your next adult alternative lifestyle event.
Situated on 1400 acres in Dayton Texas, Liberty Manors 300+ acres offers the utmost in beauty and privacy.
We are conviently located 40 mins from Houston Hobby AND IAH airports.*

The event facility is located on the north side of the property and has full access to everything except the resident area. Guests are able to enjoy the swimming area, coffee shop and eateries, fishing area (when complete) gun range, etc…
We are able to host events as small as 20 guests or more then 10,000.

Camping areas have restroom facilities with showers. There is access to power to charge cell phones or lap tops and free wifi access.

*Airport pickup by Liberty Manor is recommended as It can be difficult to find and priced the same as a shuttle service.

Please Note: Liberty Manor is an adult facility, all guests must be 21+ up.

To learn more contact us at: Info@LibertyManor.us

Link to Website: http://libertymanor.us/

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BDSM We Are One

slaute

We salute all the members of our BDSM Communities across the world as we are All Changing the World One Vanilla At a Time.  Here at TSRnetwork.com we wish to say THANK YOU, because of all of you who have worked so hard. You have made our community stronger though-out the world. We stand tall and salute you all for all your hard work as you have opened the way to the next generations that will soon be the leaders of our community. It is because of all of you that they will truly have bright future. We are one!

From Dungeon owners to munches and events planners you have worked hard to create a more positive view of BDSM and Kink not only in our life choice but out to the vanilla world. Your creativity and generosity has changed the world on how they view us as we are no longer in the closet in fear someone will find out about our lifestyle . We are a community that is so diverse and yet we all have the same thing in common and that is the Love for BDSM and Kink.

We come in all shapes and sizes all types of gender and ages. Our community has Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers, Moms, Dads and people from all walks of life. We have educator that teach classes about BDSM because they want to make a difference so our younger generation will not experience what we had to endure in the past.

We are not just fifty Shades of grey we are every color in the spectrum of human conditions as we were hidden from view but never stop evolving in our life choice.   As Rev Mel has said over and over again when someone vanilla ask her what BDSM is all about she replays that “There is not a street in United States or round the world that someone is not being tied to a bed, blindfolded and spank, as we are not much different than yourself”.

 

We are one and BDSM and Kink is what we need in our life like butter on toast it makes a difference on how we live. We all work together to make this world wide community a better place for all of us. We matter and are united and strong as we are all talking different roads but it all leads to one path and that is our Love for BDSM. Like this if you support BDSM We Are One.

 

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My First Poly Experience.

ribbenthizbeeMy first “poly” experience happened when I was seven. I was sitting with a group of friends and the question was asked, “Who is your best friend?” After naming a few people, I was told I could only have ONE best friend. I thought that was the dumbest thing I had ever heard, ” Why only one?! Who made up this rule?!” As I have been heard to say, I didn’t suddenly become poly one day, I came out the box this way. I have tried monogamy, was even married; but toward the end of that marriage we each had other lovers and we all knew about each other. I just don’t understand the purpose of monogamy in my world. Not saying no one should be monogamous, I have met many people who are quite successful at it. It’s just not for me. Since 2000 I have actively sought polyamorous relationships, and currently have a network of about 10 people (including lovers of lovers whom I am not involved with, but am supported by, and vice-versa). I am pretty sure a complex org chart might be useful in following it all, LOL! For me there has been a natural progression from Polyamory as a lifestyle choice/orientation to being involved in education and support; as I wish to advocate for other Polyamorous people. I would like my children to grow up in a world where being Poly is just as acceptable as any other group/orientation. When I look at the history of the GBLT community I can identify with those struggles. My girlfriend calls it the “Alphabet Soup.” But I think we need to add more letters:

gblt

Kink
Polyamory
Pansexuality
Intersexed
Alternative Spirituality
And so on….
Or any other disenfranchised group whose rights are not being supported and applauded by our society. But because Polyamory is how I identify, it is the flag I have chosen to carry: as far as I can carry it, for as long as my arms can hold it. Until we look around at our world and see all people being treated with respect and appreciation for their uniqueness-es. My uniqueness. Being Polyamorous.

Polyamory FAQ:

What is Polyamory? Polyamory is lifestyle/orientation in which an individual is capable of loving more than one person at a time and in which all people involved are knowledgeable/ in agreement of such an arrangement. Honesty is a key feature of Polyamory and thus elevates it above cheating and infidelity.

What is Serial Monogamy? Monogamy is a relationship dynamic in which only two people are committed to each other. Serial Monogamy is a series of these relationships, with distinct beginning and end, one after another.

What is a Primary Relationship? One’s main relationship (may be a couple or group).

What is a Secondary Relationship? Relationships not included in main (or primary) relationship. These often take up less time, with less commitment and/or fewer responsibilities than the main relationship(s).

What is an Open-vs-Closed (Poly-Fidelity) Relationship?

Open: Primary couple/group allow members to see others (Secondaries) “on the outside” (this may or may not include guidelines and/or veto power)

Closed: No relationships outside Primary group. Also called Poly-Fidelity
What is Veto Power (Guidelines)?

A partner gets to say, “NO WAY!” if they feel there is something they can’t live with, or makes them uncomfortable.
Other examples might be:
o “Come Home”

o “Use Condoms”

o “I must meet the other person first”

o “No Drugs”

o “No Drama”

What is Bi (Bisexual)? Having sexual desire/attraction for or interest in a romantic relationship with both genders.

What is Bi-Curious? Having an interest in the possibility of being with both genders .

What is Bi-Sensual? Having non-sexual affections for both genders.

What is Pansexual? Pansexuality does not view relationships as having gender choices. Therefore people who identify as transgender, gender-less, intersexed, etc would be included in the pansexual model.

What is an SO? Significant Other (this could be wife/husband, boyfriend/girlfriend, or Primary type of relationship).

What is an OSO? Other Significant Other (this is often of the same hierarchy level of the an SO, for example other members of a quad or triad).

What is an LTR? Long Term Relationship.

What is an LDR? Long Distance Relationship.

What is a Vee Relationship? A relationship dynamic where one person is in a relationship with two others, where those two others are not in a relationship with each other or are not as similarly related to each other (e.g they may be friends, but not lovers).

What is a Triad Relationship? A “couple” of three people with balanced emotional/sexual feelings between them all.

What is a Quad Relationship? A “couple” of four people with balanced emotional/sexual feelings between them all.

What is a MMM Relationship? A triad with three males.

What is a FFF Relationship? A triad with three females.

What is a MFM Relationship? A triad with two males and a female.

What is a FMF Relationship? A triad with two females and a male.

What is a Sister Wife? In a FMF relationship, how the two women may refer to each other. A way to describe such a relationship.

What is a Sister Wife or Metamour? Similar to a Sister Wife, but can be of any gender or number. The other person your love is also dating.

What is a Group (Tribe, Family, Network) Relationship? A relationship dynamic in which any or all of the other relationship dynamics may be present within the group, where there some sort of emotional and/or sexual connection between members. Some of the members may be friends, but share significant others.

Examples of Rules/Guidelines in a Polyamorous relationships (such as what constitutes Veto Power) For example:

“My boyfriend’s other girlfriend’s husband’s date.”
“Don’t ask, don’t tell”
“Don’t tell me the dirt, but I want to know where you are.”
“See whom you want, but I just don’t want to know anything.”
“See whom you want, but don’t rub my nose in it.”
What is Compersion? The opposite of jealousy; the feeling of joy for an SO/OSO having love for others and sharing that joy with them.

What are the different types of poly styles of relationships? “There are as many ways to do Poly as there are people doing it”

types of poly

“Typical” Models

Married couple seeking a Third: a FMF. This is the most common Poly dynamic. The wife is often Bi or Bi-curious and the third is female and is often Bi. This relationship is often Closed
Primary/Secondary: Primary Couple with Secondary OSO’s. The couple could be married or LTR. There are often Guidelines for seeing others and may include Veto Power for each other. Or they could be seeing others as individuals
Triad (Triads can also form independently )
Vee (Vees can also form independently)
Traditional Vee
Primary Couple dating others together
“A-typical” Models

Network/Group
Quads (and more): A group of four (or more) where the main focus of the relationship is on the four. Typically two emotionally/sexually “intermingled couples”
Tribe/Family: This can include a variety of relationship models with varying degrees of connectivity
LDR: Distance creates unique challenges for this relationship and any other relationships connected to this couple/group. Time is of the essence
Models so individualized, there is no real label to describe them
Here are ways in which Polyamory can be empowering:

Relieves the pressure of having to be someone’s “everything”
Ensures that all needs are met
Encourages self-examination and discussion to discover what is most fulfilling for people, beyond the assumptions and possible limitations of “normal” relationships
By being honest with others and with oneself, a person who may have had to “choose” between two or more friends, possible lovers, or some other interpersonal relationships, would be able to pursue those relationships and thus gain freedom to be who they truly are
Gives one space to be honest with not only themselves, but with all the people they love
Gives a sense of joy, peace, happiness, good feelings to share love on a level most non-poly people are able to understand
Allows one to experience the unique emotion of Compersion
Don’t have to compromise on getting needs met
Love becomes limitless when the boundaries of monogamy are lifted
Taking on new views of non-traditional relationships to move past societal/governmental/religious/parental/etc controls and restrictions of one’s personal choices in their lives and the lives of those they love
Relief from trying to hide other relationships; Encourages honesty
Accepting human nature as having the capability and even desire to love many, thereby accepting of one’s self
As one accepts themselves and accepts others, by embracing Polyamory and its ideals; other prejudices and conflicts become lessened and control over them becomes attainable
As societal mores slowly shift toward global acceptance, “Creating a Global Village“; the ideals and concepts found in Poly will begin to answer the needs people will recognize as they compare their personal relationships with those on a global scale.
Send your questions and comments to: Thizbee.Sez@gmail.com

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Self Identity

miss caddy compson What’s Positive about Sexual Identity

A lot of girls identify as bisexual, especially in the BDSM world.  In my experience, a bisexual girl is almost the norm instead of the exception in the community.  I suppose we’re more accepting of different sexual preferences and many people are more comfortable disclosing their preferences.  I definitely know a lot more bisexual men, which is almost unheard of in vanilla company.  You’re either gay or straight.  If you occasionally have a sexual or romantic relationship with another man, you’re deemed gay.  Hard and fast.  Even if that’s not really true.  “Pansexual” is nonexistent, as are blurred lines like “heteroflexiable” or “homoflexible.”  “Asexual” is also completely ignored in vanilla contexts.  Identifying as asexual, simply means that you’re just a prude or that you just haven’t found the “right” one.  Nonsense.  All nonsense.  There are more outlets with BDSM, but even here there aren’t enough labels.  Take me for example:

At this point, what is my sexuality?

I suppose that technically I started out as a lesbian.  I was absolutely madly in love and hated spending even a moment away from her.  We were together for two years before one day she brought home a boyfriend.  A boyfriend?  What?  I never said anything to her about it.  I guess I just had an “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” attitude, so I landed a boyfriend of my own.  And that was the start of my poly relationships.  Additionally, it was also my introduction to BDSM since my boyfriend was a Dom.  A lot for a girl to take on.  I suppose I qualified as bisexual at that point.  I had fully sexual relationships with both male and female partners.

As I got older, I identified more as pansexual.  All welcoming and all inclusive.  I’ve had all kinds of lovers with all kinds of traits and genders.  Female, male, MtF, FtM (and people who didn’t identify with any of those) and I’ve loved them all equally.  Like many others, I enjoyed people on an individual basis, not based on their genitalia.

Now, however, my sexuality has evolved in a different direction.  I still want boys, I still want Tbois and Tgirls, but I no longer feel the desire to be with a woman.  I suppose on a very primitive and basic level, I mostly want cock now and I find myself attracted to people with penises and distinctly not interested in vagina anymore.  I’m not sure when this development happened, but it’s a pretty strong feeling.  I don’t dislike women and I still find some women very attractive (and I still mildly obsess over a few), but I don’t want to have sex with them anymore.  No penis, no play.  Or something like that.  I wouldn’t fight against an intense connection with a woman if there was one, but I definitely wouldn’t seek it out at this point in my life.  (Although I’m mildly interested in fisting and yet uninterested in trying it with a man, so who knows?)

So what’s my sexuality now?  I’m not a lesbian anymore.  I’m not bisexual anymore.  I’m not even pansexual anymore.  I only like men and either side of the trans coin, but not women, so I’m not all inclusive at this point.  How do you label that?  We like to believe that labels aren’t important, but when there are fill-in-the-blanks on profiles and such, there’s no box for me to check.  When someone asks, I don’t have a name for my “thing.”  It’s like asking a biracial child (i.e. also me) to choose one box on her standardized test.  That’s unfair and narrow minded.  There needs to be more options.  Even BDSM doesn’t cover all the sexual orientations there are.  We just throw a “fluctuating/evolving” blanket over anything we can’t properly identify.  Weak.  I know what my sexuality is right now.  It is not currently in the process of evolving and hasn’t for a long time.  I’m not “confused.”  I just don’t have a label for it.

No one wants to be labeled or have to label themselves, but labels are important.  We don’t have the availability to learn details from every person we come across.  We use labels as tools to help guide our knowledge.  When we learn that a woman is a lesbian, we assume that she finds women sexual attractive.  That’s what we’ve gleamed from that description.  We are able to make snap judgments that would be impossible to do if we systematically interviewed everyone she has dated.  We have the slightest start into who she may be and how she wants to be viewed.  Labels get a bad rap, but they’re not inherently bad.  It’s how we use them that is sometimes negative.  When we apply them to stop gathering more information because we think that’s all we can learn, we’re abusing the usefulness of labels.

Sexual identity is important.  It helps us understand and relate to others and it helps us understand ourselves.  No, we don’t always need to label ourselves (to others or even to ourselves) and we never have to be absolute or definitive with our tastes, but as sexual creatures, part of our evaluation of ourselves and others is through sexuality.  Finding that sexual identity sometimes causes strife and confusion, from its discovery throughout life.  But it can also be a very fun joyride.  I have experienced a great deal of satisfaction and self discovery through every stage of my sexual awakening.  I know that it gives me something added that I can use to relate to other people and have them relate to me, too.  Whether we’re “outlandish” with our sexual appetites and desires or more “conservative,” we’re still sexual beings.  Even if we’re asexual.  (No matter how kinky we are in the bedroom, there is always someone else who thinks they’re “kinkier” and no matter how kinky that person is, there’s probably someone even “kinkier” than that. It’s all relative and it’s all a matter of what works for the particular people involved.)  Sexual identity is profound; we just have to be careful not to use labels negatively or harmfully in regards to others, and just as importantly, in regards to ourselves.

With a great deal of things, a lot of people don’t fit into the boxes we put them in.  Most people in fact.  There are countless ways that people describe themselves.  However, no matter how many labels we have to give people, they will never fully describe everyone.  Not yet, anyway.

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Inside Fetish with Genesis Guest will be Sir Valentino topic Clarity, Service and Education

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Link to Pop-Out Chat Room. http://tinyurl.com/TSR-ChatRoom

Where to watch the show?

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Watch-Live

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Youtube

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Group-Fetlife

We are the Real 50 Shades of Grey

Tuesday March 25 at 7:30 PM PST

Sir Valentino’s core household and lifestyle values are Charity, Service and Education. These things are extremely important. But Sir Valentino also has a love for food, so this year he will be incorporating food into every class he teaches; starting with his grilled cheese and spanking class next Wednesday. Also Sir Valentino thinks its entertaining but weird to refer to himself in the third person. Thank you boardwalk empire. Now for some of the stuff Sir Valentino has done in the past few years and through his first title year:

Sir Valentino is your Southern California Leather Master 2013 and your SouthWest Leather Master 2014
~Presenter at Dom Con LA 2010, 2011, 2012 & 2013
~Presenter at BOLD 2014
~Presenter at Olympus Leather 2012
~Performer at Sanctuary LAX Studios (Los Angeles, CA)
~Performed at 2014 AVN Awards
~Presenter at TGIF’s Sunday School (Fresno, CA)
~Presenter at the Annual TGIF Ball (Fresno, CA)
~Educator at Sanctuary LAX Studios (Los Angeles, CA)
~Educator at Dungeon Servitus (San Diego, CA)
~Presenter at Behind Closed Doors 2013 (Tucson, AZ)
~Educator at Desert Dominion (Tuscon, AZ)
~Winner of the 2013 Olympus Leather Community Service Award
~Nominee for TSR Man of the Year 2011
~Taught at local dungeons in various cities including Bakersfield, Victorville, Baltimore, Virgina, Tuscon and Las Vegas, etc.
~Appeared on VH1’s “I’m Married To A…” Episode 104
This last year, Sir Valentino taught 24 classes, traveled more than 10,000 miles through eight states and raised eight and a half tons of food for charity.

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Shows Produced by M.A.P. Productions and TSRnetwork Studio

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Naughty or Nice with Miss Cassie Guest Bettie Bondage Tuesday 9 PM PST on TSRnetwork

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Naughty or Nice with Miss Cassie Live on TSRnetwork.com
Where to watch the show:

Go to: [http://TSRnetwork.com/] or click on following links

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Watch-Live

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Youtube

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Group-Fetlife

Pop Up Chatroom,

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-ChatRoom

Naughty or Nice with Miss Cassie
Airs live every Tuesday 9-10pm PST on TSR Network

This week her special guest will be Bettie Bondage.

Professional/Lifestyle Domme, BDSM performer and so much more.

Tune in to find out if Bettie is naughty or nice…

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Shows Produced by M.A.P. Productions and TSRnetwork Studio

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The Rev Mel Show with Guest Educator Galen Fous Talking About Fetishsexual Desire Live Monday March 24 at 8 PM PST

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Link to Pop-Out Chat Room. http://tinyurl.com/TSR-ChatRoom

Where to watch the show?

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Watch-Live

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Youtube

http://tinyurl.com/TSR-Group-Fetlife

We are the Real 50 Shades of Grey….
The Rev Mel Show Live on TSRnetwork.com with guest Galen AKA DakaDom Live Monday March 24 at 8 pm pst.

About Galen Fous MTP: Over the last 15 years I have worked with hundreds of men, women and couples who sought support to be honest and empowered in who they are sexually, and heal from the decades of fear, shame and judgments that held their authentic desire back. I have a Master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology, with an emphasis on authentic sexual expression. I regularly present at a variety of Kink, Fetish and alternative Sexuality related conferences, lecture at universities and grad schools on sex-positive topics, and have been interviewed in numerous media for my innovative views on conscious sexuality and the nature of Fetishsexuality. I I have been advocating for sex positive approaches to understanding the complex nature of sexual desire and have been active publicly in the Sex-Positive, Fetish/Kink and Sacred Sexuality communities since 1998.
An important component of my research into the nature of Fetishsexual desire is the development of the Personal Erotic Myth Survey. ( http://galenfous.com/pem ) This ground-breaking and ongoing research survey with over 800 participants so far, is the first study that begins to document the mythic archetypal aspects of Fetishsexuality and the mapping of the sexual unconscious.
In 2000 I introduced the world renowned Tetruss Portable Dungeon, Suspension Bondage Rig and Sex Swing, the world’s most versatile adult toy. (http://Tetruss.com)
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#tsrnetwork.com
#fetish
#talkingsexradio.com
#therevmelshow

Shows Produced by M.A.P. Productions and TSRnetwork Studio

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