About Rev Mel

Rev Mel is a female Dom with over 20 years in the lifestyle and an ordained minister who firmly believes that religion and hot wet sex go hand-in-hand. She tells it like it is, and preaches that a life filled with indulgent sex is a life that?s fun, sanctimonious and worth living. To her critics, she responds, ?What?s the big deal? Our mothers and daughters do it? even the government representatives who want to control how sex is depicted in our culture do it ? sometimes in ways their constituents could never imagine.? Host of the Rev Mel show on TSRnetwork.com each Monday night and she has interviewed Jay Wiseman, Venus De Mila, Guy Baldwin, Midori, Nina Hartley and so many other outstanding leaders in the BDSM Community. The Rev Mel is live on Monday nights at 8 PM PST Only on TSRnetwork.com your place for Live Kink TV... She founded The Sacred Realm known as The Church of Perversion and Debauchery (COPAD) in Los Angeles and TSRnetwork.com and the Sacred Realm and is a BDSM consultant, educator and freedom rider. The Sacred Realm is an alternative non-traditional spiritual group that embraces all sexual orientations and sexual practices. We welcome all lifestyles and anyone who wish to explore their spiritual side of life. Rev Mel is also the founder of BDSM Pride Day and the TSR Peoples choice awards a live broadcast from Hollywood, CA. BDSM PRIDE DAY is OUR day: a day of unity- a day for BDSM-coming-out ? a day of protest against discrimination ? a day of celebrations and parties ? SM Pride! The last 10 years Rev Mel have been teaching the S/m 101 open forum at the Lair de Sade a class for new people to this life choice.

Where are all the Fifty Shades of Grey Events? They have been here all the time.

thereal50-copyWhere are all the Fifty Shades of Grey Events? We have all been here well before the book or the movie. Countless people from all over the world have been living this life choice of Fifty Shades of Grey for thousands of years.

This is not going to change who we are or affect us in the long run. Fads fade out but the Real 50 Shades of people will never be just a fad.

I get so many people in my class S/m 101 Open Forum at The Lair de Sade that have read the book and are curious some will deiced that this is not for them and many will be our leaders of tomorrow. I support all the new people that keep our life choice going onto the future.

We are not a book a movie or adverting campaign we are real people that live breath this train of thought of BDSM and S/m and so much more.

Just like the Story of O, Exit to Eden, 9 1/2 Weeks and The Secretary it has not changed our life style and it might add a moment of excitement to our conversion but its not going to make us better or worst.

In a few months it will be Netflix, Amazon and Google Play and it will move into the past. it will be talked about about 20 years from now when someone do a fad timeline ..

So you want a Fifty Shades of Grey Event just go one of your local dungeons or munches and start really seeing what we are all about. Fifty Shades of Grey is just a book and a movie and nothing more. It does not represent who we are as a community or a life choice. We are who we are and nothing is going to change this.

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Kinky Spirituality

KINKY_REALKinky spirituality in my own opinion is a huge part of how we play and how we think. When a submissive goes into sup-space where do they go? Or a Dom in their Dom-space? To me spirituality is about energy exchange between the universe and myself. I’m not sure what is out there and not sure why strange things happen to me all the time. When I go to a play party it’s very soothing to my state of mind, body and soul.

The structure of BDSM has things that spiritual people live every day like honor, integrity, trust and kindness. When spirituality is added to this it changes the way we play and live.

You never know where the light will touch you and what I mean by the light is enlightenment. I have been in a dungeon with the music blaring and hot heated scenes going on around me and I felt the presents of spiritual beings. I have channeled a few of those being and could feel a vibration thought out my whole body as they talked to me.

Woo Woo or being in the moment can change your life and take you on a different road. You never know when spirituality will hit you and start showing up in your play and life.

My spirituality is like a long lost lover returning back to my bed as the we share an amazing sensual moment in time with each other. Many don’t believe in some of the dogma of spirituality and shy away from it but for people like me it is the place that grounds me to this life force.

What is wonderful is we all get to chose our life and our beliefs and still be involved in BDSM. We all don’t walk the same path and we all make different choices on how and what we believe. From the beginning of my life in BDSM spirituality has been a huge part of who I am. Without would be like losing a close loving friend.

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Fifty Shades of Dishes

Fifty Shades of Dishes The night is quiet and dark as thoughts run though my head. Off in a far room it waits and calls out to me. Are you going to come and do me? You do not want to make me wait. I know from the past what happens when I don’t obey and I wish never to feel the wrath of my dishes again. Holy Cow raced though my thoughts as I lay there with thoughts of long lean forks and spoons touching my wet hands. It sent shivers down my spine with memories of the how my dishes can control my every wish. Holy Geeeezzz!

When my dishes do not get their needs met they create a green slime that likes to give my hands a gooey feel and it is like when I see a spider and all I want to to do run. If I let it go to long the food get hard on the plates and my hands try to scrub it off but it’s always giving my hands a beating in the end. The smell over powers my senses and I sit in fear of what I’m going to find when I want in this strange room filled with stoves, refrigerator and pots an pans I don’t want to submit to my dishes but there is a need to please my dishes that I can’t understand. Holy Cow it has long knives.

I cry out I’m a Dominate and that i don’t switch but my dishes have power over me and will make me do what I wish not to do. They have no safe word and they do not give me after care. It just sits and waits for me and knows that I will break down and do it’s bidding.

The edge play that my dishes make me do is not what no sane dish could ever do to hands without harming them. Yes, as I feel the knife run across my fingers and the dishes make bubble sounds as the water turns red. This please my Master in the sink as blood play get their bubbles hot. Holy Geeez what have I become? But I moan with the thoughts of my dishes long forks brushing up against my flesh. It says it will hurt me or never harm me but alas it make face my limits at each moment.

I cry out red and it does not pay me any mind and keeps going in this sadistic manner. I yell out what about Safe, Sane and Consensual. My Master is into RACK and pays me no mind and will work me till each dish is cleaned in drying on the dish RACK. The long forks in the water take my breath away and I have no voice as I stand there at the sink and do what a good slave will do. Wait I’m not a slave I cry out and the water running out of the spout drowns out my voice. But. But I cry out and my dishes never stop taking me that place of subspace. OH My, Holy Cow I cry out. The pots and pans are endless as my hands are red from being over beaten.

My dishes know it’s all about them with their narcissistic personality disorder it waits and creates presser on me to surrender my will. I hear it calling from my dark room and I try to hid but in the end it will win. OH geeeez I’m helpless with these thoughts.

There is no warmth up in the shinny glasses basking in on the RACK because it’s all about their needs and not mine there will be no aftercare and their has been no contract made but it owns me. I am just a slave to my dishes and there is no way out. I

Wait…. Wait.. There is? Why did I not think of this? Yes, I must find a slave to fight with dark place that hides in my kitchen. There is light after all in the darkness. Holy Cow but long knives and forks and don’t forget about the spoons. Do they think that I will settle for a few moments with the spoons?

Written by Rev Mel on TSRnetwork.com

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TSRnetwork 12 Years Anniversary Play Party Celebration.

1 - Copy

Sunday, March 08, 2015 · 6:00 PM – 12:00 AM
Lair De Sade
6628 Lankershim Boulevard @ map
Dress code: Fetish wear or all black

TSRnetwork 12 Years Anniversary Play Party Celebration.

Come and join us for a fun filled evening. This is a fundraiser for TSRnetwork to keep BDSM TV Live Free to all viewers. Join us for your Anniversary Celebration. If you have been a guest, host or have watched the live and recorded shows please come and show your support for Live Free BDSM TV.

**Doors Open at 6:00 PM PST
Party closes at midnight.**

**Your donation at the Door $15.00**
Buy Early Bird Special Here: http://tinyurl.com/l2zgc89

Can’t make the party but wish to show your support click on this link http://tinyurl.com/k7y5zel
**All of the proceeds will go to funding TSRnetwork.com and Keeping Live BDSM TV Going for years to come.**

This is a potluck so bring something to share.

TSRnetwork.com is the Web’s first live Network that broadcast free live show about BDSM and the lifestyles. Based in Hollywood, CA, the interactive talk shows combines top movers and shakers in the BDSM community, live interactive chats and a live in-studio audience for a truly one of a kind viewing experience.
We are changing the world one Vanilla at a time.

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The Atlantic BDSM Versus the DSM


This is from a post on Fetlife by Susan Wright http://www.susanwright.info Have permission to re-post this.

BDSM Versus the DSM

The Atlantic recounts how NCSF, Race Bannon, Guy Baldwin, Charles Moser and Peggy Kleinplatz fought to make the APA acknowledge that BDSM is a healthy form of sexual expression!


The Atlantic
by Merissa Nathan Gerson

Asking your partner to tie you to the bedpost, telling them to slap you hard in the throes of lovemaking, dressing like a woman if you are a man, admitting a fetish for feet: Just a few years ago, any of these acts could be used against you in family court.

This was the case until 2010, when the American Psychiatric Association announced that it would be changing the diagnostic codes for BDSM, fetishism, and transvestic fetishism (a variant of cross-dressing) in the next edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published in 2013. The new definitions marked a distinction between behavior—for example, playing rough—and actual pathology. Consenting adults were no longer deemed mentally ill for choosing sexual behavior outside the mainstream.

The change was the result of a massive effort from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), an advocacy group founded in 1997 “to advance the rights of and advocate for consenting adults in the BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities.” At the time, these types of sexual behavior, by virtue of their inclusion in the DSM, were considered markers of mental illness—and, as a result, were heavily stigmatized, often with legal repercussions. In family court, an interest in BDSM was used as justification to remove people’s children from their custody.

“A sexual sadist practices on non-consenting people,” explains NCSF founder Susan Wright, while “someone who is kinky is having consensual enthusiastically desired sex.” The problem with the earlier DSM: It didn’t draw a distinction between the two. A 1998 survey from the NCSF found that “36 percent of S&M practitioners have been victims of harassment, and 30 percent have been victims of discrimination.” As a result, the organization’s website says, “24 percent [have lost] a job or a contract, 17 percent [have lost] a promotion, and 3 percent [have lost] custody of a child.”

“We were seeing the DSM used as a weapon,” says Race Bannon, an NCSF Board Member and the creator of Kink-Aware Professionals, a roster of safe and non-judgmental healthcare professionals for the BDSM and kink community. (The list is now maintained by the NCSF.) “Fifty Shades [of Grey] had not come along,” says Bannon, an early activist in the campaign to change the DSM. “[Kink] was still this dark and secret thing people did.”

Since its first edition was published in 1952, the DSM has often posed a problem for anyone whose sexual preferences fell outside the mainstream. Homosexuality, for example, was considered a mental illness—a “sociopathic personality disturbance”—until the APA changed the language in 1973. More broadly, the DSM section on paraphilias (a blanket term for any kind of unusual sexual interest), then termed “sexual deviations,” attempted to codify all sexual preferences considered harmful to the self or others—a line that, as one can imagine, is tricky in the BDSM community.

The effort to de-classify kink as a psychiatric disorder began in 1980s Los Angeles with Bannon and his then-partner, Guy Baldwin, a therapist who worked mostly with the gay and alternative sexualities communities. Bannon, a self-described “community organizer, activist, writer, and advocate” moved to Los Angeles in 1980 and soon became close with Baldwin through their mutual involvement as open participants in and advocates for the kink community. “I’m fairly confident that I was the first licensed mental-health practitioner anywhere who was out about being a practicing sadomasochist,” Baldwin says.

The pair was spurred to action after the 1987 edition of the DSM-III-R, which introduced the concept of paraphilias, changed the classifications for BDSM and kink from “sexual deviation” to actual disorders defined by two diagnostic criteria. To be considered a mental illness, the first qualification was: ‘‘Over a period of at least six months, recurrent, intense sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies involving the act (real, not simulated) of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer.’’ The second: ‘‘The person has acted on these urges, or is markedly distressed by them.’’

“1987 was a bad shift,” Wright recalls. “Anyone who was [voluntarily] humiliated, beaten, bound, or any other alternate sexual expression was considered mentally ill.”

With the new language, Baldwin says, he quickly realized that laws regarding alternative sexual behavior would continue to be problematic “as long as the psychiatric community defines these behaviors as pathological.”

“I knew there were therapists around the world diagnosing practicing consensual sadomasochists with mental illness,” he says.

At the time that the new DSM was published, Baldwin and Bannon were planning to attend the 1987 march on Washington, D.C., in support of gay rights; after the new criteria came out, they decided to host a panel discussion for mental-health professionals in the State Department auditorium, where they announced the launch of what would come to be known as “The DSM Revision Project.”

“We asked how many people in the room were mental-health professionals,” Baldwin says, and “two-thirds of the people in the room raised their hands. And we said, ‘The way this needs to happen is, licensed medical practitioners need to write the DSM committee that reviews the language of the DSM concerned with paraphilias.’”

Around 40 or 50 people left the session with the information needed to write the letters. “We did not know exactly what would result,” Bannon recalls. “We did not think we would see dramatic changes suddenly.”

They didn’t—but the changes they did see were positive. The next edition of the DSM, published in 1994, added that to be considered part of a mental illness, “fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors” must “cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.”

“This was a definite improvement from the DSM-III-R,” says Wright, who later took over leadership of the DSM Revision Project from Bannon and Baldwin.

“These criteria gave [health professionals] wiggle room to say, ‘They have issues, but it is not about their kink. For the vast majority, it is just the way they have sex,’” Bannon explains. “Rather than saying, ‘Because you are into this method of sexuality, you are sick,’ [they could say], ‘Pathologically, if this impacts your life negatively, then you have a problem.’”

But the new language in the 1994 DSM also allowed for wiggle room of a different kind: The threshold of “significant distress” was often loosely interpreted, with the social stigma of kink, rather than kink itself, causing the negative impact on people’s lives. Workplace discrimination and violence were on the rise, according to a 2008 NCSF survey, and people were still being declared unfit parents as a result of their sexual preferences: Eighty of the 100 people who turned to the NCSF for legal assistance in custody battles from 1997-2010 lost their cases.

A few years after the 1994 DSM was published, Wright decided it was time to fight for another revision. When she founded the organization in 1997, the NCSF’s goal was a change to the APA’s diagnostic codes that separated the behavior (e.g., “he likes to restrict his breathing during sex”) from the diagnosis (e.g., “his desire to restrict his breath means that he must be mentally ill”). The next DSM, the group argued, should split the paraphilias from the paraphilic disorders, so that simply enjoying consensual BDSM would not be considered indicative of an illness.

Their efforts were largely ignored by the APA until early 2009, when Wright attended a panel discussion at New York City’s Philosophy Center on why people practice BDSM. Among the panelists was psychiatrist Richard Krueger, whose expertise included the diagnosis and treatment of paraphilias and sexual disorders.

During the meeting, Wright says, “I brought up the point that the DSM manual caused harm to BDSM people because it perpetuated the stigma that we were mentally ill. [Krueger] heard me and said that was not what they intended with the DSM.” Krueger, it turned out, was on the APA’s paraphilias committee, and following the meeting opened up an email dialogue between Wright and the other committee members, in which Wright provided documentation about the violence and discrimination kinky people experienced. “I credited that to the DSM,” she says. “Courts used it. Therapists used it. And it was being misinterpreted.”

Over the next year, “I sent him information, he gave it to the group, they asked questions, and I responded. It was very productive,” Wright recalls. “We [the NCSF] felt we were heard, we were listened to—and they took [our arguments] into account when they changed the wording” of the DSM in 2010.

Another major factor in the NCSF’s favor was a paper, co-written by sexual-medicine physician Charles Moser and sexologist Peggy J. Kleinplatz and published in 2006 in the Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality, titled “DSM IV-TR and the Paraphilias: An Argument for Removal.” According to Wright, the paper, which “summed up opinions of mental-health professionals who thought you shouldn’t include sexual activity in the DSM,” played a significant role in the paraphilia committee’s eventual shift in language.

In February 2010 the proposed change was made public—clarifying, Wright says, that “the mental illness [depends on] how it is expressed, not the behavior itself.” The new guidelines drew a clear difference, in other words, between people expressing a healthy range of human sexuality (for example, a couple that likes to experiment, consensually, with whips, chains, and dungeons) and sadists who wish others genuine harm (for example, tying and whipping someone in a basement without their consent).

The DSM-5 was released in May 2013, its contents marking a victory for the NCSF, Bannon, and Baldwin. The final language states: “A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention.”

“Now we are seeing a sharp drop in people having their children removed from their custody,” Wright explains. Since the change, according to the NCSF, less than 10 percent of people who sought the organization’s help in custody cases have had their children removed, and the number of discrimination cases has dropped from more than 600 in 2002 to 500 in 2010 to around 200 over the last year.

“The APA basically came out and said, ‘These people are mentally healthy,’” Wright says. “‘It’s had a direct impact on society.”

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Happy New Year’s from TSRnetwork.com

happy new year 2015I wish to say thank you to Miss Cassie and Genesis for being amazing hosts on their shows on TSRnetwork.com.

Thank you to all the chat viewers that come in the chat and join the conversation on the live shows. You make our job easier as Host as we get to ask the questions of our guests that you wish to hear.

To all the Guests of each show Thank You for taking the time to come to the studio or to web cam with us each week. You all have been amazing guest though-out 2014.

All the people that could not tune into the Live shows because of your busy life’s but went into the archives and watch the recorded shows. Thank you for taking the time to go onto TSRnetwork.com and watch the shows that you missed.Because of you, you has increased our viewing numbers over 800,000 views when added together all the different places that we broadcast on.

Viewing the analytic s of the shows from February 2014 to now we have had over 300 thousand people tune into and watch the live and recorded shows on Youtube and TSRnetwork.com. On Google the numbers are 580,233 views from the two profiles that we broadcast the shows on.

My hats goes out to Miss Cassie for her show Naughty or Nice with Miss Cassie Special Guest: Sybian Master that has had over 21,000 views. The show streamed live on Aug 19, 2014 and has had so many views in such a short time.

2015 we hope to move past over a million or more people viewing the live shows or the recorded shows. We hope to add more shows to the network and touch more people both BDSM member’s and the vanilla world. Here is a letter from a viewer.

Dear Rev Mel,

I was told by a friend about your show and have always wanted to be spanked. My husband could not understand why I need this and would make fun of me. After finding your show and TSRnetwork I got my husband to watch the shows on Youtube. It has changed my life and his. He is a natural Dom and I’m now collared by my husband.

We could never come out to our friends and family about what we do but it is wonderful having a place where we can go and learn about BDSM and not feel like such a freak. I, now feel normal and found a safe place where I can share with husband all of my desires.

Thank you,

Kathy ——-

I get these letters all the time and this is what make doing all of this so amazing as we at TSRnetwork reach out into the vanilla world and change them one day at a time.

We have lost so many friends of TSRnetwork and when we launched the show back in February we dearly missed our friend Robert who passed away while the shows are down the year before. Robert you are missed and each show I think of you and wish you were here to share this with us.

This year we lost River Butch not only a fan of TSRnetwork but a friend as she supported us during hard times and laugh with us at some of those special mommets on the life show. I will miss her loving emails and phone calls, you were always a hero to me. River Butch and Robert you both are in our hearts and thoughts and will never be forgotten we love you.

In 2015 we will continue to broadcast free live BDSM TV and make this a place where education and safety comes first and change the world on how they view our BDSM Live Choice and community.

Like I say “There is not a street in United States that someone is not being tied to a bed, blindfolded and spank we are not that much different then our vanilla friends and family.

To our community I salute you and have a wonderful New Year’s and may 2015 be an amazing year for all.

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Reflections 2014 An Open Letter…..

happy new year 2015How can one express in an open letter about the lessons that one have learned from this past year? To be honest with oneself and to freely open up your private thoughts with friends and strangers. Taking that end of the year look at how your life seem to go within your eyes. But how did others see you? We have this vision in our mind of what we think we did and if we made a difference.

It’s only one point of view and that point of view is clouded within our minds and is it all real? We ask ourselves at the end of a year where did this year go as we look forward to the next year. So reflecting on my life of this past year is something that I have mixed emotions about.

One thing that resonates within my mind is, “ what is this life we choose?” There is a lot of chatter that runs wild within my thoughts as I look to why I do things and what is importance to my life. My life what is it really? The lessons of this year has humbled me to a place of peace for the first time in my life. The need to fit in or be liked is no longer in my frame of thoughts. My voice is strong and I don’t sensor the tone of my voice or my speech.

I have seen so many changes in the BDSM life choice within this year. I have lost dear, dear friends and have met some amazing new friends as the days mingle in this dream like movie of change and lost. To set free old ways and to let go of what my thoughts of friendship was like pulling a child away from their mothers milk. A calmness has surrounded me with a sense of nothingness. Truly to be lost in only creativity without a end has been what my year has been like.

Looking at the bright eyes of all the new people coming into this life choice I remember when I was new with excitement as I embraced this life choice. Often, I talk about that new fresh faces will be the leaders of tomorrow and some day I will be the thing of the past. I embrace this with hope and love and let go as I know these young new people are our future and I give them willing my support and love.

As you grow older you look at life in a different way and the blinders are off and see really what is before you as you let go of false illusions of what is and what will be. I have come to realize that BDSM is only a small part of who I am. My mind is filled with memories and compassion of others and for myself. To see yourself in a different perspective and to really look at self is not an easy process. To rip off the core of who you thought you were and really look into the mirror and look at your eyes looking back. You see the aging that lined your face and the aches that you feel when you first stand up. You embrace it and hold on to it with understanding for the first time in your life. I am who I am and that is just they way it is. Nothing more and nothing less it’s not how we see our self but if we made a difference in the world and the people that we have touched.

This year I lay naked for all to see but most of all for myself to see as I have come to the revelation that the only thing that matters is self love at any age and to find peace within one’s self. As I age the youth in my body is no longer my driving force but my mind is bright and my thoughts are strong. As I look at this past year. I no longer have the need to move mountains and prove who I am as that is a forever losing battle that many taken. I too have taken that road but this year has been a clarity of the need to no longer worry about things that are out of my control. I no longer carry anyone else thoughts or judgment on my shoulders. None of this matters anymore but what I have found to replace negative actions and thoughts is to stay on the positive side of life. No more time for petty game or head trips that want to mingle with my mind and soul. Vision of what is really going on matters more to me as this year was like a being liberated of past needs and wants.

The need to prove one’s self no longer is a part of my being or to be out every weekend just to be seen. I have taken time to heal my spirit and soul but most of my mind. Seeing people for who they are has been quite an enlightenment experience this year as the blinder are off. I find that being alone with creativity is more comfort then to be out and about. The need to be the center of the universe or the life of the party is like a prison to me as I sit quietly back and watch others take up that role. I now understand this and know that it will happen one day with me as I grow older. We all make our mark and change this life choice for the next generation that is coming up in the ranks. This is how life is as you get to place you don’t have anything to prove and you’re at peace with it. It is what it is and that is really what life is all about.

For the younger generation I say to you, Play more, have more fun and really take a look at why you here both in the BDSM world and the vanilla world as both are importance. Don’t forget kindness and compassion and remember that everyone of us walked in your foot steps. Find that place inside your mind and soul where you can truly be that person that make a difference. It does not matter how well you throw a flogger or how many slaves you have. What matters is how you treat others and that your word is your bond. Be real as you are dealing with real people with hearts and souls not just someone to do your bidding. Kindness and compassion should be one the number one action within yourself. Don’t feed the ego, feed the heart and soul as you think about next year and where you wish to be and what you wish to create. Make a difference in our BDSM World walk with honor and integrity and don’t just mouth the words but follow it up with actions. Give back and don’t worry if others will give back to you because in this big picture of life none of this matters. What matters is finding peace within your soul. Peace will set you free.

For me I look forward to 2015 and embrace it with a new perspective on where I need to go. I learned how to honest with myself and others and that I can not make anyone into something that they are not. I learned friendship and help friends are rewarding but you must first make sure that you healthy within your own mind. Like on the airplane where they tell parents you must first put on your life raft. It’s the same thing with friends.

When I first moved into apartment I was not healthy from a past experience and took care of a friend that I loved and adored. I was in no shape to take care of someone else and I should have been taking care of myself and heal from a past hurt. I was hurting inside from years of feeling lost and depressed.

The more I helped her the sadder I got as I really was not taking care of my needs. She came first so many times as she was hurting and I nursed her back to the real world and forgot about nursing myself. For six months it was about her pain and how she felt and she did not see the pain that I was in during that time. I did not use my voice with her and I should have. Looking back I know that I could not give her what she need as I had nothing left in me to give as far as our friendship. I was filled up with such sadness that nothing or no one could get through the walls of sadness and pain. The more she gave me as a friend the more I shut down and sadness would over take me. I just need to be alone and take my time to work this all out. For over 3 years I was never alone and I need that private space in order to heal my broken soul.

Her and I have parted ways from a misunderstanding but really I had nothing to give her because I was a shell of my past self. I did try to explain it to her but she was so badly hurt she could not see or hear me. Wish her a wonderful life and hope it filled with love and respect and she is missed.

I learned that I must take care of my self first and to really use my voice in order to get me that healthy place.. When asked these days to mentor or protect someone I have to pass on it because though the last few years I have lost so much and I must become healthy once again. I stay alone a lot these days because I am healing and I’m trying to bring myself to a different place in my life. A place where kindness matters and I can only give to myself that kindness that I use to give others as I have nothing more to give. I have now spent some alone time and have done a lot of healing one’s soul and I’m strong and more clear on this present moment in time. I filled with love to one’s self and for others as now I have more to give back,.but more of giving back is on the side lines and not all of me any more. I think I have taken 2014 and cleaned away some of the walls that I had built up.

What will 2015 bring who knows as I’m open to anything at this moment in time. In fact I welcome it and welcome new and old friends into my life. I now have a huge part of me that now give back once again, I am now whole again. I walk with truth and self worth with a strong but loving voice. So if you see me out and about in 2015 just know that I’m happy and safe and working on myself.

I don’t make New Years resolutions as I never were able to keep it so the only resolutions I make is to be open to what live brings and work on staying positive and healthy in spirit and my mind. To embrace my faults and weakness and not to worry as much. I believe in a higher power has brought me so much peace and it is my road that I must travel and respect that others need to find their own way to peace.

My advice is find the right path that rings true to you and believe that you can move mountains and change this world on a positive note. Take time for your family, vanilla life and your BDSM life and find the balance that resonates with your soul and mind. Do not allow drama into your being and most of all be kind to others and really listen to someone in need. Give back behind the scenes and do this because of the need to make this life choice a better place. If you see someone in pain reach out and show that you care. Don’t talk about people behind their back in a negative way.

Many people are smiling at a play party and go home and shut there door and fight with their depressions or fears. Reach out more and show kindness to others. From someone that knows that dark space know that someone will not reach out if they are in that very dark place and we miss our chance to help them out. In 2014 I have seen so many people in pain and posting and we need to reach out to people in pain and let them know they are loved. We have to be like hidden quiet angels and touch others with kindness.

I have learned a lot in 2014 and I’m at peace with all that I learned and my wish is that may 2015 be an amazing year for all and walk in peace, love and joy,

Rev Mel


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The Art Of Sensual Primal Play with Rev Mel at the Stockroom in Los Angeles

The Rev Mel Show Live on TSRnetwork.com

Saturday, December 06, 2014 · 3:00 PM – 6:00 PM
Stockroom Hall
2809 1/2 W. Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90026 @ map
Cost: $10
Dress code: Come as you are
Book your tickets Now

Primal Play is about touching the erotic and sensual part of who we are. It is flesh on flesh it’s the wild within all of us. The uncivilized part of who we are where nothing exist but the fire of erotic energy. Primal is our foundation of our basic instincts and our animal nature as we embrace our animal nature. Touching, smelling and being creative with our hands, mouth and body it is core of our sexually.

A headspace and mindset and attitude of leaving the body and becoming a nonhuman shift into an animalistic being. It is love making and play at the primal level of our true self.

Primal Play is the release from being a modern human and to be in privative state of mind where we let loose the taboos that are pushed open us. It’s without restraints as a human without shame and to embrace our desirers and back to the basic instincts of our soul. It is expressing passion and sensual energy without restraints in our mind and body and most of all without fear.

This is place where our body and mind fine tunes the most primitive self as we touch that place of letting go and just being in the moment. It is hot and sensual will touch your inner nature of your true self and you learn to a new way to that hidden part of you.

Primal is the raw, animalistic, wild, sexual and uncivilized part of who we are conditioned to be in our daily life. We are taught to ignore, pretend and hide this feeling inside of us and not to share this wild side to the outside world. This exists within all of us and the animal within us is calling us out. Come change the dogma and find your true self as shed the taboo of what others have put on us.

Primal is a consciousness or space as an individual is connected to their animalistic, primal urges and thinking out of the box. It is sexual, wild and hot state of mind and a place where the dance begins.

Open enrollment is now in effect, and just like college, all the best classes fill up fast, so don’t get left out in the halls, reserve your space today!

Yummy snacks and refreshments will be served.

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I have mixed emotions about this subject

Mel_2014Just saw a post about bring family members in to the scene. I have mixed emotions about this subject. I’m a mother of an adult child and have a story to tell.

My daughter is not happy about my life choice of BDSM and that I’m as public as I am. She feel what we do is not right. I had a submissive and did a collaring ceremony at the Lair many years ago and when she found out she was mad at me for not inviting her. I knew how she felt about the all this and felt that she would not be a happy camper at the Lair. Watching me put a collar someone’s neck.

So months later I was celebrating my birthday at the Lair and I knew she was going out of town so I invited her. I knew she would not come but I was so wrong. Kane the owner of the Lair de Sade came and got me and said someone was outside that was not a member and wanted to come into my birthday party. When I walked out front there was my daughter and boyfriend with big smiles on their faces. I turned red knowing well enough that she would not enjoy this evening at all. She got an eye full that night and her boyfriend got a kick out all of this but this was really not her cup of tea. When the time came for my slave/boyfriend to take my spankings my daughter said it was time for her and her boyfriend to leave.

The Lair de Sade

The Lair de Sade

In the last 20 years she had been to the Lair two times afterwards once on Halloween and once for a fundraiser for TSRnetwork.com our Live TV Network about BDSM. Watching her is like watching ants crawl all over her body and she is tied up. She is not kinky at all and I can tell on her face that is not a happy place for her.

My daughter calls us “you people” and looks down on what we do. So I’m public person in BDSM and she hates what I do. There is nothing I can do to convince her that we are normal people and not twisted mother fuckers that just are wracked out of our minds.

It’s not my job to convince her or to introduce her to my life choice, she lives her life to her own rules and interest. As her mother I have been a very good single mom that raised an amazing young woman that I’m so proud of.

She respects me and I respect her and I keep my life choice away from her because she feels very uncomfortable around all of this. She did not have an easy time being raised by a mother that thought out of the box as I was never a soccer mom and always a bit different.

I don’t believe it’s our job to bring our family members into BDSM but if they do come into the lifestyle on their own than we can be open about talking about this. Everyone has to make their own choice and if they are meant to be in this life choice they will find their way.

I respect my daughter choice and know this is not her thing so our family dinners are very vanilla and calm. I have to think about all of the people in my family that this could affect not just me. What I do is a choice and I protect her of people finding out. Most of us in this life style know each other but don’t really know our real name and we tend to keep it that way to protect our love ones. We call life choice Safe, Sane and Consensual because many of us try to keep our love ones safe from people knowing and judging them. This is what you do when you love your family and would never want to cause them harm in any way. My kink is not my daughter’s kink and protect her first and me second. It has always been this way and it will never change. We tell our sub’s that we hurt you but never harm you but with my daughter I will never hurt her or harm her in any way, that’s what mother’s do.

Thanks for reading this and walk in peace, love, joy and kink,
Rev Mel

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Rev Mel to be interviewed on Karen Summer xxx radio show Oct 5, 2014 at 6:30

4OcHjWsQ_400x400Come and join us as karen Summer interviews Rev Mel from TSRnetwork.com Live  on xxxpornstarradio.com at 6:30 PM PS T with Host Karen Summer xxx tonight Oct 5th 2014. It should be a fun and sexy show and it’s live on the net. Mel_2014



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